我一直知道诸神有着幽默感 'I've always known that gods had a sense of humour.'
不然的话为什么他们要把我们都放在一只巨龟的背上? 'Why else would they put us all on the back of a giant turtle?'
当然, 我曾以为我在笑话之上 'Of course, I had assumed I was in on the joke.'
结果, 我, Moist 冯.利普维格, 是其中的笑柄 'As it turns out, I, Moist von Lipwig, am the butt of it.
请把它传给热那亚好吗? 亲爱的 Can you fax it to Genua, please, dear?
给钱或死 Bloody hellfire.
什么时候他们才能在这个系统上花点钱? When are they gonna spend some money on this system?
晚上好, 约翰·迪尔哈特 Good evening, John Dearheart.
谁在那? Who's there?
还有, 晚安! And good night.
啊! Argh!
啊! 啊! Argh! Argh!
人生总会有一些机会 'There is always an angle.'
我开始认识到这是你人生中可以依赖的 'l've come to realise it's the one thing in life you can rely on.'
窍门是找到那个机会 'The trick is finding that angle.'
那些我将要说的事好像有点不寻常 'The events I'm about to recount may seem extraordinary,
甚至有着无情和犯罪 callous, criminal, even.'
但是事实上这些事都发生过 'But reflecting on all that's happened,
在许多地方我觉得很无辜 in many ways, I feel blameless.'
也许你会更同情我,如果我从最开始说起 'Perhaps you'd be more sympathetic if I started from the very beginning.'
你应该知道, 当我还是孤儿的时候, 在我的名下只有两件东西 'You see, on the day I was orphaned, I had only two things to my name -
家里的老马, 而它正在老去 the family nag,and "nag" is being generous,
和我的机智 and my wits.'
但是机智和一点鞋油可以把一匹老马变成一匹骏马 'But wit, and a bit of boot polish, can turn a nag into a horse...
...大概只要20分钟 ...for about 20 minutes.'
我只需要这些 'Which is all I needed.'
12小时的交易后, 我有了足够的钱去搞一颗钻石 '12 horse trades later, and I had enough cash to get into diamonds.'
25美金 $25.
只有这些? Is that all?
搞定了 'Got her.'
她看到的是100美元的钻石, 但是她买的是1美元的玻璃 'She'd seen a $100 diamond, but she'd bought a $1 lump of glass.'
告诉你, 我相信一句老话 'You see, I'm a firm believer in the saying,
你无法愚弄一个诚实的人 "you can't fool an honest man".'
基于这笔钱我开始了我的事业 'It was on this premise that I built my career.'
盗取, 诈骗, 造假和盗用 'Rob, trick, forge, embezzle.'
我无法否认我做过这些错事 'I can't deny I did every con in the book.'
但是当我做了这些事以后 'And when I finished the book of cons,
我才真正开始书写我的人生 I started writing chapters of my own.'
新闻! News!
时讯! 时讯! Times! Times!
债券危机评论! Bond crisis rambles on!
业者协会首席会计, 阿尔伯特·斯潘格勒 Albert Spangler, chief bursar for the Undertakers Guild.
我想你可能对我们新的补偿方案有兴趣 You might be interested in our compensation scheme
用来弥补由于...造成的损失 for losses incurred by the, er...
...假债券丑闻 ...fake bond scandal.
真钱换假债券, 假钱换真债券 'Good dollars for fake bonds, fake dollars for good bonds.'
变换钱袋子 'Switch the cash bags,
再加一些偷梁换柱 add a dash of short change,
基于一些贪婪... bank on a little greed...'
当这些结束以后我又多了200美金 'By the time we'd finished, I was $200 up.'
不是很多, 但是足够我在城里度过一个美好夜晚了 'Not a fortune, but enough for a good night on the town.'
阿尔伯特·斯潘格勒? Albert Spangler?
从没听说过他,但是为了你, 我可以成为任何人 Never heard of him. But for you, I could be anyone.
你能成为午餐吗? Could you be lunch?
我怎么会知道城市守卫长是一个狼人? 'How was I to know the City Watch's finest sergeant was a werewolf?'
呃! Eurgh!
我立即抓住了机会 'I'd been in tighter spots.'
泥灰很软 'The mortar was soft.'
有了一个适当的勺子和时间 'With a decent metal spoon and time on my hands,
一个星期的挖掘后, 我就自由了 a few weeks' hard digging and I'd be free.'
干得好, 利普维格先生 Well done, Mr Lipwig.
这是你搞的鬼！ You set this up.
维蒂纳里领主的命令 Lord Vetinari's orders.
他称这为职业治疗法 He calls it occupational therapy.
职业... 我称这为折磨 Occupa... l call it torture.
你没有难过, 不是吗? Not upset, are you?
你的确全身心的投入进了这件事 Only you've really entered into the spirit of the thing.
你做的方式值得赞赏 Admirable,the way you kept going,
把所有的泥灰塞进了你的床垫 stuffing all the dust into your mattress.
非常整洁 Very tidy.
现在, 你真的该休息一下了 Now, you really should get some rest.
半小时后我们就会绞死你 We'll be hanging you in half an hour.
绞刑? 就因为一点小诈骗吗? Hanging? For one little con?
还包括这些 That and these.
这些诈骗最少有15万美元 There's got to be at least $150,000 worth of fraud here.
而这只是我们可以查证的那些 And these are just the cons we can prove.
先生, 早上好 Good morning, sir.
我是特鲁珀, 你今天的行刑者 I am Trooper and I will be your executioner for today.
不要这么担心, 先生, 我绞死过几百个人 Don't look so worried, sir, I've hanged hundreds of people
我会让你立刻离开这个世界 and we'll have you out of here in no time.
这正是我所担心的 That's what I'm worried about.
在我们开始以前, 先生, 关于你的绞绳 Now, before we start, about your rope, sir.
这听上去可能有点奇怪, 但是有很多人专门收集这玩意 It sounds strange, but there's a lot of specialist collectors out there
而我将在拍子上拍卖它 and I'm gonna auction it on the clacks.
这就是为什么我需要你签个名, 这样的话更值钱 It's the coming thing, you know. Worth more signed, of course.
多谢了 Much obliged.
现在就差你的遗言了 Which just leaves the small matter of your final words.
我没想到会死 I wasn't actually expecting to die.
非常好,我们还没听到过这句! Very good. We haven't had that one before(!)
大家准备好了吗? 不要, 不要 Everybody ready? Not me. Not me.
哦, 先生, 你是个懦夫 Oh, you are a card, sir.
我带了安赫·莫波尔克的贵族, 维蒂纳里领主的法令（赦令） I bring an edict from Lord Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.
缓刑! A reprieve!
他说, 做了他 He says to get on with it.
最后的遗言, 先生? The last words, sir?
我赞美任何能找到我灵魂的神祗 I commend my soul to any god that can find it.
非常好, 就这句了 Very nice, we'll go with that.
啊, 利普维格先生, 我看到你醒了 Ah, Mr Lipwig, I see you are awake.
而且目前还活着 And still alive at the present time.
哦! Ooh!
绞刑的时候你跳了两下 You've danced the sisal two-step.
绞死一个人是一门非常严谨的学问 It's a very precise science, hanging a man,
而特鲁珀先生是一个大师 and Mr Trooper is a master.
但是一个专家也会有失误 But only an expert would have spotted
你的生命被悬挂在一英寸以内 that you were hanged to within an inch of your life.
最后一英寸成为了关键 The last inch being the crux of the matter.
你知道, 有些时候 You see, sometimes,
当一个人犯下如此肮脏和纠结的一生时 when a man has made such a foul and tangled mess of his life
死亡似乎是唯一的选择的时候 that death appears to be the only option...
...一个天使出现了 ...an angel appears
给他一个改变人生的机会 and offers him a change of life.
我希望你把我当成那个天使 I should like you to think of me as that angel.
我在给你一个新的人生 I'm offering you a new life.
和一份工作 And a job.
咽慢点 Little sips.
现在, 也许我应该指出你背后的那扇门 Now, perhaps, I should point out that door behind you.
如果在听了我提议后,你准备离开 If, after hearing my proposition,you wish to leave,
你只需要踏过那扇门 you have only to step through that door
那么你就不会再见到我了 and you will never hear from me again.
这份工作是让Ankh-莫尔波克的邮局重新营业 The job in question is to reopen the Ankh-Morpork Post Office.
邮局? 嗯 The Post Office? Mmm.
等一下 A moment.
哦! Oh!
死亡还是邮局? 'Certain death or the Post Office?'
这算不上什么选择 'Hardly a choice, more an alternative.'
这一天内我在棺材里待够了 'l'd seen enough of the inside of a coffin for one day.'
你看, 关于天使最有趣的一件事... You see, the really interesting thing about angels...
...是你只能遇到一个 ...is that you only ever get the one.
现在我们互相理解了吗, 利普维格先生? Do we understand each other, Mr Lipwig?
完全地 Perfectly.
欢迎成为公务员 Welcome to government service.
工资是20美元一周 And the wage is $20 a week.
也不算太糟 Not bad at all.
请 Please.
哦,我差点忘记了 Oh, I almost forgot.
你的假释官将在10分钟后在外面和你见面 Your parole officer will meet you outside in ten minutes.
假释官? Parole officer?
但我现在是社会上值得尊敬人物了 But I'm a respectable member of society now.
哦, 他是一个非常值得尊敬的假释官 Oh, he's a very respectable parole officer.
哇-喔! Whoo-hoo!
这个白痴给了我第二次机会 'The fools had gifted me a second chance.'
我唯一需要做的就是跑得远远的 'All I had to do was run faster and run longer.'
我的面前是一片平原 'The plains lay ahead of me.'
到了晚上, 我将躺在羽绒床上 'By nightfall, I'd be in a feather bed
然后到了早上, 我又能开始我的事业了 and, by morning, I'd be back in business.'
噢? Uh?
你跑不了, 你藏不了, 利普维格先生 You can't run and you can't hide, Mr Lipwig.
这是你的想法 That's what you think.
你一定是在开玩笑 You gotta be kidding.
啊! Argh!
必须遵守法律！ The rules must be obeyed.
啊-啊! A-a-a-rgh!
我同情你, 利普维格先生 I have nothing but good feelings towards you, Mr Lipwig.
你是什么东西?! What the hell are you?!
我是你的假释官,而我要保证你的安全 I am your parole officer and your safety is my concern.
我们又遗憾的见面了 Regrettably, we meet again.
我记得我特地告诉了你, 你只能遇到一个天使 Yet I specifically remember saying that you only ever get one angel.
你没说你会让一个泥土怪物来看着我 You didn't say you were gonna set a clay monster on me.
有点刺耳吧 Rather harsh.
蓬普先生不是一个怪物, 他是一个魔像 Mr Pump is not a monster, he's a golem.
他背着我和一匹马走了整晚.的确如此 It walked all night, carrying me and a horse. Quite.
你必须睡觉, 蓬普先生不用,你必须吃饭, 蓬普先生不用 You have to sleep, Mr Pump does not. You have to eat, Mr Pump does not.
你不可能逃跑 There is no escape for you.
唯一的选择是重开邮局和. There is only a choice between reopening the Post Office and...
但是... But...
谁关心邮局? Who cares about the Post Office?
没有人再寄任何东西了 No one posts anything any more,
大家都网络,网络, 网络.看 it's all clacks, clacks, clacks - look at it.
你玩Thud吗,利普维格先生? Do you play Thud, Mr Lipwig?
这个游戏很迷人 It's a fascinating game.
我的对手远在乌伯瓦尔德, 而我们用网络来玩 My current opponent is far away in Uberwald and we play by clacks.
理论上应该可以这么做, 但是电信的网络太烂了 Well, that's the theory, but there are so many service breakdowns.
现在, 作为一个愤怒的顾客 Now, as a disgruntled customer,
我应该可以使用其他的网络公司 I should be able to take my business elsewhere,
但是没有邮局我做不到这点 but with no postal service, I am stuck.
而我不喜欢这样,利普维格先生 And I don't like to be stuck, Mr Lipwig.
但是为什么是我 But why me?
因为命运的车轮在缓缓转动, 利普维格先生 Because wheels are in motion, Mr Lipwig.
车轮转啊转 Wheels within wheels.
现在是时候让你转动起来了 And it is time for your cog to turn.
邮政局长有一间小公寓 The postmaster has the use of a small apartment.
我记得还有一顶帽子 And I believe there is a hat, too.
嗯 Mmm.
现在除了使用第13计没有其他办法了 'There was nothing for itv but to deploy Rule 13 -
当被逮住的时候, 化敌为友 when captured, turn enemies into friends.'
能否让我开诚布公的谈谈, 蓬普先生? Can we talk frankly, Mr Pump?
魔像无法撒谎 A golem is incapable of lying.
真的? 你多么不幸啊 Really? How unfortunate for you.
事实是这样的, 我很担心 Fact is, I'm worried.
维蒂纳里领主这么残酷的剥削你 Lord Vetinari works you so hard.
这是不对的 It's just not right.
我建造的目的是为了工作 I was built to work.
你从来没想过放下这一切休息一天吗? Don't you ever just want to kick back and take a day off?
你误会了 You misunderstand.
蓬普不是我的名字, 是对我的形容 蓬普19 Pump is not my name, it's my description. Pump 19.
我曾站在一个100英尺深的洞里 I stood at the bottom of a hole 100 feet deep
抽了两个世纪的水灌进城里 and pumped water into the city, for two centuries.
但是现在, 我走在阳光下, 感受着风吹在我的脸上 But now, I walk in the sunlight, feel the wind on my face.
这比那好 This is better.
问题是, 迟早 Trouble is, sooner or later,
总会有人来遮住你的阳光 someone always comes along and blocks out your sun.
然后你怎么做, 蓬普先生? What do you do then, Mr Pump?
这看上去也不赖 Ah, it doesn't look in bad shape at all.
这不是邮局 This is not the Post Office.
那才是 That is.
没有夜晚 "No glom of nit
可以留下使者们的职责 can stay these mes engers abot their duty."
这是什么狗屁? What the hell does that mean?
它意味着, 你有工作要做 It means, you have work to do.
真的吗,他们从哪里找到他们的? Really. Where do they find them?
我们现在应该, 呃, 出发了, 到达者 We should be, er, going now, Reacher.
你看到这个了吗, 马蹄? Have you seen this, Horsefry?
看上去有其他笨蛋 It looks likes some other fool
被邮局绑定了 has been suckered in to running the Post Office.
如果我们和维蒂纳里的见面迟到了,会有大麻烦的 If we're late for Vetinari, we'll be in big trouble.
哦 Oh.
提醒我要看上去有点适当的惊慌 Remind me to look appropriately scared.
他们不能指望靠我一个人修好这一切吧 They can't expect me to fix this on my own.
哦! 先生,你不会只有一个人的 Oh! You won't be on your own, sir.
格罗特,先生,初级邮差格罗特 Groat, sir, junior postman Groat.
先生,只要你的一句话,我会... One word from you,sir,and I will...
我会立刻行动 I will leap into action.
初级邮差格罗特? Junior postman Groat?
的确是, 先生.应该是上级了 Indeed, sir, yes - it should be senior,
但没有人可以待到足够长的时间来提升我 but nobody's ever stayed long enough to promote me.
所以你是? And you are it?
先生, 不, 不, 那太荒谬了, 不, 不 Oh, no, sir, that would be ridiculous. No, no.
好吧, 我想见见我的全体职员 Well, I want to meet my entire staff.
噢, 当然了, 先生,我会立刻把你带到他那 Oh, certainly, I'll take you straight to him, sir.
来, 这边 Come this way.
史丹利! Stanley!
利普维格先生, 新任邮政局长 Mr Lipwig, the new postmaster.
哦 Oh.
哦, 我看到你了解一些关于针的事情, 史丹利 Oh, I see you know something about pins, Stanley.
不, 先生 No, sir.
我了解关于针的所有的事情 I know everything about pins.
去年, Ankh-Morpork的工匠 Last year, the pinneries of Ankh-Morpork
做出了27,880,972根针 turned out 27,880,972 pins.
在分类间出生,从信封学会阅读 Born in the sorting room, sir.Learned to read from envelopes.
我们对他已经尽力了,但是他有点 "退回寄件人" We did our best for him,but he's a bit "return to sender",
如果你知道我在说什么 if you know what I mean.
这包括了蜡头, 钢制 That includes wax-headed, steels,
铜质, 银头,特大... brasses, silver-headed, extra-large...
...还有新式的 ...and novelty.
是啊 Yes.
我曾经看到一本关于这个的杂志 I saw a magazine about this once.
《每月针数》? Pins Monthly?
那个垃圾是给一般爱好者看的 That rag is for hobbyists.
真正的针粉只看《总针数》 True pinheads only read Total Pins.
呃, 先生你会和我们留在这吗? Ah. Erm, will you be staying down here with us, sir?
不, 不,我听说这里有一间官员公寓 No, no. I was told there's an official apartment.
哦, 你想待在那? Oh, you want to stay there?
先生, 这里还有一顶帽子,局长帽 There is the hat, too, sir. The hat of office.
啊! Ah!
啊哈哈, 太华丽了 Ah, ha-ha. Magnificent.
它很华丽, 不是吗, 先生? It's magnificent, isn't it, sir?
你不会真的指望我把这个戴在头上吧? You don't seriously expect me to put that on my head?
先生, 这是由来已久的传统 It's a time-honoured tradition, sir,
而且这个一定要戴在邮政局长的头上 and it must sit on the postmaster's head.
离我远点! Get off me!
尊严的戴着它,停下, 格罗特先生! 够了! Sit with dignity. Stop it, Mr Groat! Enough!
这玩意应该直接进垃圾场 This is going straight to the city dump.
我们期望一个更有敬业精神的邮政局长 We expected more keenness from the postmaster.
敬业精神? 像他和他的针? Keenness? Like him and his pins.
敬业远不止需要一个健全的头脑 Keenness beyond the bounds of sanity.
也许, 如果你更专注于做一个邮差 Perhaps, if you'd been a bit more keen about being postmen,
我们也不会有一百万封信堆在这里了 we wouldn't have a million letters stuck out there.
我认为我不喜欢他, 格罗特先生 I don't think I like him, Mr Groat.
别担心, 史丹利,他不会在这待太久的 Don't worry, Stanley, he won't be here long.
问题在这, 吉尔特先生 The problem is, Mr Gilt,
自从你的网络崩溃次数增加以来 since you acquired the clacks, breakdowns have increased.
信息传送速度开始变慢, 而顾客需要花更多的钱 The speed of messages has slowed and the cost to customers has risen.
我尊敬的领主 With respect, my Lord,
我们对我们的股东负责而不是你 we are answerable to our shareholders, not to you.
那么也许你的股东会有兴趣知道 Then perhaps your shareholders will be interested to learn
我让邮局重新开张了 that I am reopening the Post Office.
那个笨重的, 缓慢的,因为自己的重量而倒下的怪物? That lumbering, overstaffed monster that collapsed under its own weight?
安卡-莫尔波克的人民应该有选择权 The people of Ankh-Morpork deserve choice
然而现在, 他们唯一的选择是你跟什么都没有之间 and currently, the only choice they have is between you and nothing.
那么问题在哪? And the problem is?
别让我拘留你 Don't let me detain you.
那是一个原版的蓝石棋盘吗? Is that an original bluestone slab?
我对玩Thud非常认真 I take my Thud very seriously.
也许有空的话我们可以来一局 We should play a game sometime.
我们已经开始了, 吉尔特先生, 我们已经开始了 We already are, Mr Gilt. We already are.
他这次真的是想找麻烦了,雷彻, 他真的是 He really means business, this time, Reacher. He really does.
别惊慌, 要想找麻烦 Don't panic, to mean business
你得先有一件麻烦事可以去找 you need to have a business to start with.
还有... 你的脸上是什么 And... What's that on your face?
没什么, 那只是勇气而已 It's nothing. Just nerves.
那是背叛 It's revolting.
算了, 反正那个利普维格的手下都是弱智 Anyway, this fellow Lipwig has half-wits for staff
和堆了4年的信 and a four-year backlog of mail.
他们不会有机会的 There will be no renaissance.
特别是我会教育教育他的 Especially once I've enlightened him.
教育他! Enlightened him!
这里发生了什么? What happened here?
发生? Happen, sir?
邮局应该递送邮件而不是储存 Post offices should deliver mail, not hoard it.
我们, 我们,只是有点... 只是有点落后, 先生 We-we just, er,just got a bit behind, sir.
那是什么? What was that?
呃, 呃, 什么? 那可能只是鸽子, 先生 Er, er, what, sir? It's probably just a pigeon, sir.
Groat先生, 我想你对我不太诚实 Mr Groat, I don't think you're being honest with me.
也许我应该把你们全开除了 Maybe I should just sack you all.
呃... Er...
先生,你可以这么做,但是那样的话谁来填满墨水池,先生? You could do that,sir,but then, who would fill the inkwells,sir?
墨水池? 你得让它保持满的,先生 Inkwells? Gotta keep the inkwells filled,sir.
就像那过去的日子,是的 Just like in the old days.Yes.
啊,你应该看到那些,先生 Ah,you should've seen it,sir.
到处都是铜和黄铜 Brass and copper everywhere,
珍贵的木头做的柜台,成队的邮差 counters of rare wood and teams of postmen.
队伍,先生,排成列,在大钟下面 Teams,sir,all lined up under the great clock.
他们都穿着宝蓝色的制服和黄铜纽扣 Their uniforms all royal blue with brass buttons.
啊,这一定是我的公寓了 Ah,this must be my apartment.
现在我们能有的只是你了,先生 Now,all we've got is you,sir.
从这点你可能会理解 'You might understand,by this point,
我现在几乎有点怀念绞架了 I was almost feeling nostalgic for the gallows.'
这不是邮局,这是个疯人院 'This wasn't a Post Office,it was a lunatic asylum.'
所以,我必须找到方法逃跑 'Somehow, I had to escape.'
干得好,Pump先生 Excellent work,Mr Pump.
就这样,你继续使用铲子 That's it,you just keep on shovelling.
别因为任何事停下来 Don't stop for anything, now.
我有你的Karmic名字在我的内部面板上 I have your Karmic signature on my internal tablet.
太棒了 Fascinating.
这意味着我能随时知道你在哪 Which means I know where you are at all times.
所以,如果你想要逃跑... So,if you were thinking of escape...
逃跑? 我? Escape? Me?
不,不,不 No, no, no.
不,我只是出去,呃... No,I was just off to er...
嗯... 哦... Erm... Um...
.. 发送一封信 ...deliver a letter.
这不是邮政局长应该干的吗? Isn't that what postmasters do?
如果它没有发送的话我会知道 I will know if this is not delivered.
你不相信我吗,Pump先生? Don't you trust me,Mr Pump?
我想要相信你,Lipwig先生,我真的想 I want to trust you, Mr Lipwig,I really want to.
每个人都有他的价码 'Everyone has their levers.'
像Pump,是尽职 'With Pump,it was doing your duty.'
Groat,是提升 'With Groat,it was promotion.'
但是Stanley嘛... 'But with Stanley...'
不错,不错 Well,well.
你好,嗯 Hello.Hmm.
先生 (Ow!)
这是,呃... ls, uh...
这本还可以吧? Is this a good one?
我认为对新手来说算是 It's alright for the novice,I suppose.
对我来说, 我更喜欢《Practical Pins》或《World of Pins》 Personally, I prefer Practical Pins or World of Pins.
然后还有《Pins Monthly》《New Pins》《Modern Pins》《Pins Extra》 Then there's Pins Monthly, New Pins, Modern Pins, Pins Extra,
《Pins International》《Talking Pins》《Total Pins》《Pins and Pinneries》 Pins international, Talking Pins,Total Pins, Pins and Pinneries.
或... Or...
的确有不少穿着皮衣的女人 Certainly has a lot of women in leather.
是的,但是她们都拿着针 Yeah.But they're all holding pins.
事实上,我想知道你们这有没有什么大不同的 (Actually, I was wondering if you'd got anything a bit sharper?)
我不做钉子,我们这有儿童 I don't do nails.We get kids in here.
不,不,我是绝对的针粉 No, no, strictly pins, that's me.
好吧,那样的话,我可能有一两件 Well, as it happens,I might have one or two items
只给真正的收藏者 for the genuine collector.
对不起 Excuse me.
我在找Antimony Parker I'm looking for Antimony Parker.
他在后面处理那些老卷心菜 He's out the back,tackling the difficult cabbage.
也许你可以把这个给他 Perhaps you could give him this.
告诉他邮局为递送延误道歉 Tell him the Post Office apologises for the delay.
别担心, 这不会是账单它用一个爱之吻封的口 Don't worry. It can't be a bill, it's sealed with a loving kiss.
好的 OK.
我知道这花了不少时间, 但是我们终于重新营业了 I know it's been a while,but we're finally reopening.
我是新任邮政局长 I'm the new postmaster.
我很遗憾, 我真的很遗憾 I am so sorry. I really am.
你真的做到了, Lipwig先生 You've really done it now, Mr Lipwig.
你他妈的是谁? Who the hell are you?
试着拯救你生命的人 The man who's trying to save your life.
上来吧 Step aboard.
他们没有告诉你吧? They didn't tell you, did they?
告诉我什么? 先生? Tell me what, Mr...?
Gilt. Reacher Gilt.
你知道邮局的事? You know about the Post Office?
我知道这个城里的任何事情 I know about everything that goes on in this city
而我现在告诉你 and I'm begging you,
不管你从哪来的, 立即逃回去吧 run straight back to wherever it is you've come from.
如果事情有这么简单的话 If only it was that easy.
Lipwig先生,不管是谁给你这份工作的,把你放在了一个非常危险的位置 Mr Lipwig, whoever gave you this job has put you in mortal peril.
事实上,最后四个邮政局长都死在 The fact is, the last four postmasters have died
非常可怕的事件中 in dreadful circumstances.
死亡? Died?
他们说邮局被诅咒了 They say the Post Office has a curse on it.
而现在你真的在递送邮件了... And now you've actually delivered a letter...
为什么会有人诅咒邮局? Why would anyone curse the Post Office?
我更担心的是为什么没人告诉你 I'd be more worried about why no one told you.
哦! Oh!
所以,面对即将来到的死亡 'So, facing imminent death,
我准备平静和理性地处理我的员工 I decided to approach my staff in a calm and rational manner.'
你就准备站在旁边看着? Were you just gonna stand by and watch?
你不能对我叫喊,先生 You can't shout at me, sir.
当我面对可怕的危险的时候这有违规定 While I met a gruesome end. It's against regulations.
去他的规定! 不要伤害Groat先生! Bugger the regulations! Don't you hurt Mr Groat!
哦! Stanley, Stanley, 等下! 看我找到了什么 Oh! Stanley, Stanley, wait! Look what I've found.
我只是走在集市上, 然后它就在那 I was just walking down Market Street and there it was,
在两块鹅卵石之间 between two cobblestones.
这是三号宽头特长吗? Is it a number-three,broad-headed extra-long?
而它只是随地躺着? And it was just lying around?
这很难相信,不是吗? That's hard to believe, isn't it?
它是一个稀有品 It's a collector's piece.
它现在是你的了, Stanley But it's yours now, Stanley.
真的吗, Lipwig先生? Really, Mr Lipwig?
我已经准备了一个地方等着它了 I have got a place ready and waiting for it.
很抱歉我破坏了规定, 上级邮差Groat I'm sorry I broke the regulations, senior postman Groat.
这没什么, 先生, 但是... That's all very well, sir, but...
你是不是说了"上级邮差", 先生? Did you say "senior postman", sir?
现在我说了算,这意味着我可以提升你,对吧? I'm in charge, which means I can promote you,yes?
现在,上级邮差Groat,让我们上楼 Now, senior postman Groat,let's pop upstairs
来讨论下关于那些死掉的邮政局长你知道些什么 and discuss exactly what you know about those dead postmasters.
你认为怎么样? What do you think?
我认为它很适合你 Actually, it quite suits you.
我很抱歉, 如果我曾经对你的传统有点不敬 I'm sorry if I was disrespectful about your traditions.
可能我只是感到有点负担 Perhaps I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.
当然,我理解,先生 I understand, sir, yes.
是啊,邮局曾经是个非常伟大的国企部门 Yes.Well, the Post Office was one of the great ships of state, sir.
那么前面的那些领导发生了什么? So what happened to the previous captains?
先生,他们非常不幸 They were very unlucky,sir.
Mutable局长是第一个,体面的人 Postmaster Mutable was the first.Decent chap.
他从五楼摔到了分类大厅里 He fell into the sorting hall from the fifth floor,
猛然地,先生,猛然地摔在大理石上,头先着地 smack, sir, smack on to the marble, head-first.
哦, 他就像一个烂掉的瓜,我能联想到那个情景 Oh, it was like a melon hitting. I get the picture.
然后是Sideburn局长 Then there was Postmaster Sideburn.
他从后面的楼梯上摔了下去,摔断了脖子 He fell down the back stairs and broke his neck.
第三个发生在早上 Three in the morning,it was.
他们都摔下来了? 不,先生 So they all fell? No, sir.
Ignavia局长,他只是躺死在地板上 Postmaster lgnavia, he was just lying dead on the floor.
死的就像一个门把手,先生 Dead as a door knob,sir,
他的脸扭曲着,就像见到了鬼 with his face contorted,like he'd seen a ghost.
鬼? 那么这是真的 A ghost? Then it is true.
诅咒 The curse.
不,那只是诽谤 No,that's just malicious talk.
我发誓,我和Stanley从来没有见到鬼 I swear me and Stanley have never seen nothing of no ghost.
先生... Sir...
我所有要求的只是先行一步 All I'm asking for is a head start.
不,Lipwig先生 No,Mr Lipwig.
你的处罚是恢复邮局 Your punishment is to fix the Post Office.
正是,而不是发生可怕的悲剧 Exactly.Not to meet a horrible death.
我只是一个骗子 I am just a conman.
你曾经杀了22.8个人 You have killed 22.8 people.
我从来没有做过类似拔出剑的事情 I've never so much as drawn a sword.
你曾经偷, 盗和骗 You have stolen,embezzled and swindled.
你使企业破产, 生命消逝 You have ruined businesses and destroyed lives.
当银行破产并不会直接使银行家饿死 When banks fail, it's not bankers who starve.
你以1000个小的蝴蝶效应害死了很多人 In 1,000 small ways, you have hastened the deaths of many.
你不认识他们,你没有看到他们流血 You did not know them.You did not see them bleed.
但你从他们的嘴里剥夺了面包 But you snatched bread from their mouths.
不要指望逃跑 There will be no running.
把手放在我可以看到地方 Hands where I can see them.
如果你想要杀我, 你得靠得更近些 If you're trying to kill me, you'll have to get in line.
我们昨晚有一些不速之客 We had some unwelcome visitors last night.
那这个一定是你的吧? This must be yours, then?
你可以留着它 You can keep it.
我更喜欢我的泥土里有更多生命 I prefer my clay with more life in it.
那么, 嗯, 他们为什么...? So, erm, why did they...?
一些人不喜欢魔像 Some people don't like golems.
他们认为它们会使他们失业 They think they take away jobs.
协会站出来保证魔像权益 The trust stands up for golem rights.
Moist von Lipwig.
哦,那也算个名字 Oh. That's quite a name.
你的父母是笨蛋还是只是残忍 Were your parents stupid or just plain cruel?
一点无知的溺爱 Doting. If a little unwise.
Adora Belle Dearheart.
我从来不觉得黑色会看上去那么的可爱 I've never seen black look so adorable.
如果你说可爱, 我最终会不得不对你射击 If you say "adorable", I'll be forced to shoot you after all.
抱歉, 无法抗拒这个诱惑 Sorry. Couldn't resist.
我在服丧,如果你必须知道的话 I'm in mourning, if you must know.
喔, 对不起 Oh... I'm sorry.
我怀疑 I doubt it.
这不是一个好的开端 'This was not a good start.'
让我吃惊的是, 我多么希望这是一个好的开端 'What surprised me was how much I wanted it to be a good start.'
当然, 我听说过这种一见钟情 'Of course, I'd heard about emotions like these
但我从来没有真的感受过它 but I'd never actually felt any.'
既然现在我们对对方有点人情味了 Now that we've been appropriately human,
你想要些什么? what was it you wanted?
我想知道是什么保持魔像运动的 I need to find out what makes golems tick.
我们有说明书 We do a pamphlet.
5便士 Five pence.
事情是这样的, 我设法让我的魔像有点大局观 The thing is, I'm trying to persuade mine to see the bigger picture.
如果你想要利用它, 你还不如现在就放弃 If you want to manipulate him, you might as well give up now.
利- 利-用,多么难听的词啊 M-m-manipulate. Such an ugly word.
魔像最伟大的地方在于它们的忠诚和无法利诱 The great thing about golems is they're loyal and incorruptible.
不像人类 Unlike people.
这是事实 How-how true.
哪个魔像? Which golem is it?
Pump 19.
邮局的那个 Hmm. Oh. The Post Office.
所以你一定是...? So you must be...?
邮政局长, 是的 The postmaster. Yes.
很好 Well.
如果说任何人能让Lipwig太太避免成为一个寡妇的话, 那一定是Pump 19了 If anyone can save Mrs Lipwig from becoming a widow, it's Pump 19.
事实上, 并没有Lipwig太太 Actually, there is no Mrs Lipwig.
看得出来 You don't say.
Dearheart小姐 Miss Dearheart.
我想你不介意今晚共进晚餐吧? I don't suppose you'd like to have dinner tonight?
和你吗? With you?
不要 No.
我还有事情要做, 不过多谢你的邀请 I've got things to do, but thanks for asking.
不用客气 No problem.
只要记住, 如果你想要活下来, 一定要和Pump 19离得近一些 Just remember. If you want to stay alive, stay close to Pump 19.
非常近 Very close.
向我保证你不会离开 Promise me you won't leave.
我保证 I promise.
如果今晚我遭到诅咒, 你到底能做些什么? If the curse were to strike tonight,what could you actually do?
即兴发挥 Improvise.
Pump先生? Mr Pump?
Pump先生! Mr Pump!
哦! Oh!
Pump先生! Mr Pump!
不要靠近我! Argh! Get away!
不要 No.
不要,不要! No, no!
Lipwig先生 不要! Mr Lipwig. No!
Lipwig先生! Mr Lipwig!
快醒醒 Wake up.
你看到了吗? Did you see it?
那个农民 The farmer.
我在这站了整晚, 你睡得非常安稳 I stood here all night. You slept soundly.
不! 那是真的 No! it was real.
我不能待在这儿 I can't stay here.
你是邮政局长吗? Are you the postmaster?
怎么? 是你送的这封信? What? You delivered this.
我并不想造成任何伤害 I didn't mean any harm.
我只是尽我的...职责 I was just doing my... job.
伤害？你使我成了这个世界上最快乐的男人 Ah. You've made me the happiest man in the world.
她说了愿意, 她要嫁给我了.它只是在邮局被延误了 She said yes. She's gonna marry me. It was just stuck in the post.
我一直以为她不在意 All this time, I thought she didn't care,
但现在, 你们又重新营业了 but now you're back in business.
这是结婚请帖 The wedding invitations.
你们在给我们邮件 You're giving us letters.
哦, 抱歉, 有很多事情要安排 Oh, sorry. Lots to organise.
这个感觉怎么样, 使别人的生活更快乐, Lipwig先生? How does it feel to make someone's life better, Mr Lipwig?
不同寻常 Unusual.
这正是我们所需要的, 更多的邮件 Just what we need, more letters.
我会把它们放在序列中 I'll put them in the queue.
也许你们应该把它们送出去 Maybe you should deliver them.
什么? 把它们送出去? What? Deliver them?
你们毕竟是邮差 You're all postmen.
把它们送出去毕竟是你们的职责? Surely it's your solemn duty to deliver?
嗯 Hmm?
现在, 应该怎么做? Now, how does it work?
先生, 你收到钱了吗? You got the money, did you sir? Mm-hm.
那么我们需要把邮戳盖在上面 Then we need to put the official stamp on, that's it,
来表示这个已经付过钱了 to show that it has been paid.
哦, 是的, 对了 Oh, yes, er... Right.
我拿这个邮戳, 邮戳, 然后把它敲在墨水垫上 I get this stamp. This stamp. And bang it on the ink pad.
然后现在, 现在, 把它敲, 敲在邮件上 And then, sir, then, I bang it. Bang it on the letter.
就这样 There.
哦 Oh.
哦, 你不知道再次做这个的感觉有多好 Oh, you don't know how good it feels to do that again.
这个玩意值一个便士? And this is worth a penny?
是的 Yes.
有门 Opportunity knocks.
这不仅仅是要你简单的印刷, Spools先生, 看 It's not strictly your line of printing, Mr Spools, but look.
老方式是这样的 The old-fashioned way.
在邮局排队来给你的邮件盖上邮戳 Queue up at the Post Office to get your letter stamped.
现在 Now.
一个新的方式 A new way.
人人都事先买好邮票, 然后随时都能使用它 Everybody buys their stamps in advance, to use at their leisure.
悲剧啊, 一个孩子都可以用半个土豆来伪造这个 Good grief. A kid could forge this with half a potato.
这就是需要你这个天才印刷工的时候, Spools先生 That's where your genius as a printer comes in, Mr Spools.
嗯, 好吧, 你需要有一些交叉影线 Mmm. Well you need a bit of cross-hatching, erm.
图片怎么样? 复杂的图片 What about pictures? Complicated pictures.
啊, 是啊, 人人都喜欢微型画 Yes. Everyone loves a miniature.
是啊, 我们可以让每种邮票都有不同的图片 Yes. We could have a different picture for each type of stamp.
一便士到安赫.莫波尔克,五便士去斯托拉特 A penny to Ankh-Morpork. Five pennies to Sto Lat.
你可以搞一整套 You could have a whole set.
一整套 A whole set.
对 Yes.
可以用来收集 To collect.
Spools先生, 认识一下史丹利邮票上的新头像 Mr Spools, meet Stanley, the Post Office's new head of stamps.
邮票的头像? 嗯 Head of stamps? Mmm.
哇 Wow.
有没有帽子? Is there a hat?
一步一个脚印, 史丹利 One thing at a time, Stanley.
是, Lipwig先生 Yes, Mr Lipwig.
等一下, 在你恶心地把这封信撕碎之前 'Wait before you tear this letter up in disgust.'
'问你自己一个问题 Ask yourself one question.'
你做过这么非同一般的事吗? 'Would you have done anything so different?'
有任何人做过吗? 'Would anyone?'
我发明了一个新的简单方法把纸变成钱 'l had discovered a foolproof way of creating money from paper.'
如果每个居民都买一点邮票放在他们的钱包里 'lf every resident bought just a few stamps to put in their wallet,
那么到最后我就能够掌握 I'd end up holding hundreds of thousands of dollars
成百上千的属于别人的钱 of other people's money.'
足够用来计划一个金蝉脱壳之计让我逃之夭夭 Enough to finance an escape plan and set me up for life.'
但是, 更好的是, 如果计划奏效的话 'And, better still, for the con to work,
我能让邮局重获新生的话 I had to bring the Post Office back to life
那么人们就会想买邮票 so that people would want to buy stamps.'
这是一个人人都会赢的骗局 'It was a con where everyone would win.'
好吧, 几乎所有的人 Well, nearly everyone.'
这就是为什么学习语法是多么的重要 That is why it's important to study grammar.
雨果？ Hugos?
技术上来说没有撇号的话应该是"hu-gos" Technically, without the apostrophe, it's "hu-gos".
而之所以没有撇号的原因是 And the reason there's no apostrophe is because there isn't one
我们所爱的邮局的招牌上没有那个 in the uplifting slogan that adorns our beloved Post Office.
哦 Oh.
尼特的光芒 "Glom of nit."
喔, 他们偷了它们 Oh. They've stolen them.
是啊 Yes.
呀-呀, 塔-塔,塔-塔! Ay-ya, ta-ta, ta-ta!
我们做的是邮件行业, Groat先生 We're in the letter business, Mr Groat.
我们使用语言, 而不是板砖 We do words, not bricks.
日安 Good day, to you.
请问我能见Hugo先生吗? Can I see Mr Hugo, please?
我很怀疑 I doubt it.
那么也许你能给他传句话 Then perhaps you can give him a message.
我尽力了 I tried my best,
但是我恐怕Vetinari领主会起诉 but I'm almost certain Lord Vetinari will press charges.
Hugo先生 Mr Hugo.
在接待处有一位先生说Vetinari领主... There's a man in reception who says that Lord Vetinari...
(二, 三, 四...) (Two, three, four...)
先生, 对不起 Excuse me, sir.
Hugo现在可以见你了 Hugo can see you now.
阿 Ah.
搞定 Got it.
多谢, Pump先生 Thanks, Mr Pump.
拿到了, Groat先生 Got it, Mr Groat.
干得好, Stanley Good work, Stanley.
快点, 快点 Chop-chop. Chop-chop.
就这样, Pump先生 That's it, Mr Pump.
然后你们可以告诉你们的读者, 这是百万中的第一个 And you can tell your readers that this is the first
我们把它放回正确的地方的字母（信件） of millions of letters we are putting back in the right place.
邮局并没有显示出这一征兆 One sign does not a Post Office make.
不, Cripslock小姐, 但是我们有了一个新的体系来帮助我们 No, Miss Cripslock, but we have a new system to help us.
邮票体系 The stamping system.
邮票, Stanley (Stamp, Stanley.)
很可爱, Lipwig先生 Cute, Mr Lipwig.
但是, 有了网络我们还需要邮局干嘛 But, with the clacks, why do we need a Post Office at all?
网络非常好用 The clacks is all well and good
如果你想知道Genua的虾市数据 if you want to know the prawn market figures from Genua,
但是你能用一个爱之吻来封住网络吗? but can you seal a clacks with a loving kiss?
你能在网络上流下你的眼泪吗? Can you cry tears on a clacks?
你能在里面放进一朵鲜花吗? Can you enclose a pressed flower?
所以把信件传向那广阔的大地 So, spread the message far and wide,
邮局重新营业了 the Post Office is back in business.
我试了对他用软的 I tried talking to him nicely.
但是有些人就是不吃这套 But some people just won't listen.
我们也许得来点硬的 We may need to be a little more direct in our approach.
我请求你, Reacher, 我... Please, Reacher, I...
因为这个, 我一直睡不好觉 I'm not sleeping well, as it is.
这都是因为Vetinari想要剪断我们的翅膀 This is all about Vetinari trying to clip our wings.
但我还没停止... But I haven't finished...
... 翱翔 ...soaring.
Dearheart小姐! Dearheart小姐! Dearheart小姐! Miss Dearheart!
我还以为你的名字很可笑 And I thought your name was ridiculous.
你现在有多少魔像可以雇佣? How many golems are for hire right now?
有12个登记在册 There's 12 on the books.
我都要了 I'll take them all.
不用麻烦把它们包起来了 Don't bother to wrap them up!
我们说的不是食品杂货, 他们有灵魂 We're not talking about groceries. They have souls.
我在给它们一个非常有前途的职业 I'm offering good jobs with plenty of prospects.
这是一个坏习惯你知道的 That's a terrible habit, you know.
也许我就喜欢坏习惯 Perhaps I like bad habits.
那么也许我还有希望 Maybe there's still hope for me, then.
一分钟前你想要利用Pump 19 One minute you're trying to manipulate Pump 19,
然后一下子你就成了魔像最好的朋友了 the next, you're a golem's best friend.
因为现在我有了一个计划 Because now I have a plan.
让我考虑一下 Let me think about it.
不过, 你就像一束阳光, 把整个世界都照亮了一点 Whilst your brighten up the world like a little sunbeam.
不要! No!
救我! Help me!
救命啊! Help!
谁来救救我! Somebody! Help!
救我! Help me!
为什么选我?! 这不算什么 Why are you picking on me?! This is nothing.
你明白吗? You see?
一个无害的小犯罪 A victimless crime.
等, 等, 等一下 Wait, wait, wait a minute.
假债卷伤害不了任何人! Forged bonds harm no one!
不, 不! 等一下 No, no! Wait a minute.
你不能把他当作替罪羔羊,从你的利润里拿出一部分 You can't make him the scapegoat. Take it from your profits.
这从来都不是计划的一部分! That was never part of the plan!
等下! Wait!
不要! No!
Lipwig先生! Lipwig先生! Mr Lipwig! Mr Lipwig!
Lipwig先生 Mr Lipwig, sir!
你不能睡在这 You can't sleep here.
我们要开始营业了 We-we're opening up.
外面有一条很长的队伍,他们都回到我们这来了, 先生 There's a big queue out there. They're all coming back to us, sir.
网络挂掉了! 一个个来 The clacks is down! One at a time.
慢点, 慢点! Please. Please!
先生们! 慢点, 慢点! Gentleman! Please, please!
等下, 等下! 停下! Wait, wait! Stop!
请注意! Behold!
就像邮差说的, 一个个来 As the postman said, one at a time.
下一个 Next.
请问谁是下一个? Who's next, please?
史丹利 Stanley.
太棒了 Marvellous.
我们有麻烦了 We got a problem.
那些邮票 The stamps.
你不能证明任何东西 You can't prove anything.
我们都卖掉了 We've sold out.
哦 Oh.
很好, 好的销售从来都不是一个问题 Well, good sales are never a problem.
快去Spools先生那里拿更多的邮票 Run over to Mr Spools and fetch some more.
史丹利, Stanley! 新的双指针来了 Stanley. Stanley! Got the new double-pointers in.
我等下再来,限量版的,马上就卖完了 I'll come back later. Limited edition, selling fast.
啊...哈 Ah... ah.
我不能停下 I can't stop.
史丹利, 别像个女孩一样 Stanley. Not a girl.
Spools先生! Mr Spools!
喔? Uh?
你一定在跟我开玩笑 You've got to be joking.
压割机没办法把它们切开, 太小了 The presses can't cut them. They're too small.
但我们还需要1,000张 But we need 1,000.
那么拿把剪刀开始剪吧 Well, grab a pair of scissors and get cutting.
我错过了双指针 I missed out on a set of double-pointers
而你还在用剪刀剪邮票 and you're cutting out stamps with scissors.
啊, 你是针收集者啊? Ah, pin collector, are you?
哦! Oh!
我的阁楼上还放着我的旧收藏 I've still got my old collection up in the attic.
我曾经非常专业 Yes, I was very keen.
但是然后我遇到了我的妻子, 而她对那针不感兴趣 But then I met the wife and she wasn't interested in pins.
我应该把它们拿下来估个价 No. I've been meaning to get them down and get them valued.
Spools先生 Mr Spools.
你知道我经常注意到什么吗? You know what's always got up my nose?
插针的纸多么优雅啊 How delicate pin paper is.
孔几乎比纸还多 It's almost more hole than paper.
你怎么认为? What d'you think?
Stanley, 我认为你是一个天才 Stanley, I think you're a genius.
请大家耐心点 I must ask everyone to be patient.
我们没有预料到这么热烈的反响 We weren't expecting quite such an enthusiastic response.
邮票正在路上了, 而我们还有一个特别优惠 But stamps are on their way and we have a special offer.
去Sto Lat的新特快专递在一小时后出发 The new express delivery for Sto Lat leaves on the hour
今天下午就能抵达 to arrive this afternoon.
而且比网信便宜一半 And at half the cost of a clacks message.
但是我们并没有特快专递啊, 先生 But we don't have an express delivery, sir.
我们可以从现在做起 (We do now.)
Pump先生 (Mr Pump.)
去Hobasons马行 (Go to Hobson's livery.)
告诉他要一匹快马,不要老马 (Tell him I want a fast horse, not one of his old nags.)
要血液沸腾的 (Something with fizz in his blood.)
特快,非常好, Lipwig先生 Extra fizz.Very good, Mr Lipwig.
你给Pump 19留下了一个非常深刻的印象 You've made a big impression on Pump 19.
多谢 Thank you.
我个人认为你是个骗子 Personally, I think you're a phoney.
但生意就是生意 But business is business.
那么, 这就是你说的统一制服 So. This is what you meant by free uniforms.
把它当成一个荣誉徽章 Think of it as a badge of honour.
下一个! Next!
别担心, 当他们离开的时候我们会弄干净的 Don't worry, we'll clean it off when they leave.
离开? 显然和我说话的不是同一个邮政局长 Leave? Clearly, I'm not talking to the same postmaster.
哦 Oh.
你是对的, 他们的确捕捉到了阳光 You're right. The hat really does catch the sun.
那些要乘网络崩溃的时候打败它的话 Those quotes about wanting to kick the clacks when it's down.
是真的吗? Are they true?
嗯...因为我想要帮你一把 Er... Because I want to lend a helping boot.
是吗? You do?
有没有任何人告诉过你, 你看上去非常漂亮 Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you look
当你想要施暴的时候? when considering violence?
暴力和复仇 Violence and retribution.
我的父亲是网络的建造者 My father was the founder of the clacks.
这曾是他最大的梦想 It was his great vision.
但他不是个生意人 He was no businessman.
他抵押了所有的东西用来借钱 He borrowed money and mortgaged everything
来建造第一个系统 to build the first system.
网络立刻就火起来了, 他一定发财了 The clacks was an instant hit. He'd have made a fortune.
我看上去像一个富二代吗? Do I look like an heiress?
黑色八月 Black August.
Cabbage Growers银行的倒闭, 还记得吗? The collapse of the Cabbage Growers' Bank. Remember that?
知道一点 Erm, vaguely.
银行因为假债券欺诈而受害 The bank fell victim to fake bond fraud.
不得不催回所有的借贷 Had to call in all its loans,
而最大的那份就是我父亲的 the biggest of which was my father's.
你看上去很苍白 You're looking pale.
嗯? 哦... Hmm? Um...
那些油漆味 it's paint fumes.
一个叫Gilt的人和他的邪恶律师团 A man called Gilt and his coven of lawyers
利用这个危机从我父亲的鼻子底下偷走了网络 used the crisis to steal the clacks from under my father's nose.
理查德.吉尔特？ Reacher Gilt?
你用名字来称呼那个卑鄙的家伙? You're on first-name terms with that reptile?
不, 不, 不, 我......撞到过他 No. No, no, I, er, bumped into him.
所以, 你的邮局寄送的每一份信 So, every message that your Post Office delivers
都是在从理查德.吉尔特的口袋里拿钱 takes money out of Reacher Gilt's pocket.
我喜欢这点 I like that.
是吗? You do?
真的吗? Really?
我想我终于有点进展了 I think I'm getting somewhere.
你就是那个想要"特别沸腾"的人吗? Are you the one who wants some extra fizz in 'is 'orse?
你一定是从Hobsons马行来的吧? You must be from Hobson's livery?
我就是Hobson,而我给你带来了鲍里斯！ I am 'Obson. And I've brought you Boris.
这就是你想要的吧? 'Ad all the kids you want, 'ave you?
先生 Sir.
Groat先生 Mr Groat.
装载邮件出发吧 Off you go, load the mail.
好的, 先生, 马上 Right, sir. Ready for action.
那边? Over there?
呃...呃... Er... Er...
叫你的人把它牵好了, Hobson先生 Tell your men to hold him good and tight, Mr Hobson.
女士们, 先生们 Ladies and gentlemen.
你们看着我们将驾驭的自然的原始力量... You see the raw power of nature we've harnessed...
...来发送你们的邮件 ...to deliver your post.
Dearheart小姐 Miss Dearheart.
让它走! Let him go!
欧! Whoo!
啊! Argh!
看着点! Watch out!
鲍里斯! 啊! Boris! Argh!
鲍里斯！ Boris!
啊! Argh!
鲍里斯 Boris.
你真是个淘气的孩子 You have been a very naughty boy.
你知道一个淘气的孩子会怎么样吗 And you know what happens to naughty boys.
哦,看来你能够触动鲍里斯 Oh, you seem to have the Boris touch.
我想你不介意骑一程吧? I don't suppose you'd care for a ride?
我几乎不认识你 I hardly know you.
我倒希望是这样 I'm rather banking on that.
不错的回答, 聪明 Smooth answer. Slick.
欧! Whoo!
我需要绕个道 I need to make a detour.
你想要使邮件延误? You want to hold up the mail?
不会花太久, 就在那 It won't take long. Up there.
我们到这来就为了看一个被遗弃的信号塔? We came all the way up here to see a derelict clacks tower?
这就是我哥哥John死掉的地方 This is where my brother John died.
三年前 Three years ago.
他是一个网管 He was a clacksman.
直到有人把他从上面推下去 Until someone pushed him from up there.
他是被谋杀的吗? He was murdered?
我们没有任何证据 We could never prove anything.
一些老的工程师说 Some of the old engineers say
他们还是能够在线路上听到John的名字 they can still hear John's name on the wires.
就在拂晓之前 Just before dawn.
你的哥哥怎么还会在这工作? How could your brother carry on working here?
当他们那么对待你的家族以后? After what they did to your family?
John有个大计划 John had big plans.
一个新的网络, 更好, 更便宜 For a new clacks - better, cheaper.
他从来没有机会去实现它 He never got a chance to build it.
Gilt费尽苦心偷走了网络 Gilt went to the trouble to steal the clacks
而现在他根本就不看它一眼 and now he won't even look after it.
我父亲一蹶不振的死去又有什么奇怪的呢? Is it any wonder my father died a broken man?
当你这样看着我的时候, 我希望我是一个更优秀的人 When you look at me like that, I wish I was a better man.
你是一个有先见之明的人 You're a man with vision.
也许那样更好 Maybe that counts as better.
Gryle先生的优点之一... One of the great things about Mr Gryle...
.. 那就是他从不迟到 ...he's never late.
你知道吗, 如果我们用鸟粪的提取物 Do you realise that if we dilute the clacks lubrication oil
来稀释网络的润滑油的话, 会增加我们的利润 with guano extract, it can increase our profits.
每分钟$1.24 $2.4 a minute.
他来了 That'll be him now.
Gryle先生, 这是我的财务经理Crispin Horsefry Mr Gryle, this is my finance director. Crispin Horsefry.
你是... You're...
你是那个... You're the...
蝙蝠怪! The banshee!
Gryle先生, 你发现什么有关Moist von Lipwig的事情? Mr Gryle, what exactly have you found out about Moist von Lipwig?
父母双亡 Father dead. Mother dead.
寄宿学校 Sent away to school.
恃强欺弱 Bullied.
逃跑了 Ran away.
失踪了 Vanished.
我很好奇这段时间他在哪 I wonder where he's been all this time.
好了, Gryle先生, 这个邮政局长是个麻烦 Well, Mr Gryle. This postmaster is a nuisance.
明白了 Understood.
为我做了他 Deal with him for me.
我很乐意 My pleasure.
Ankh-Morpork来的快件 Express mail from Ankh-Morpork.
啊 Ah.
今早刚寄出的 Posted this very morning.
你不可能得到更新鲜的了 You can't get fresher than that.
我们一小时后回程 We're going back in one hour.
如果你们想要寄些什么 If you want to send anything,
在马后排队 form an orderly line at the back of the horse.
我下不了马, 你知道的 I can get off a horse, you know.
那样就更有趣 This way is more fun.
你是对的 You were right.
我想你不介意... I don't suppose...
.. 两人共进美餐? ...you fancy dinner for two?
让我考虑下 Let me think about it.
我真的有所进展了 I really am making progress.
也许 Perhaps.
但是, 有些时候, 平邮胜过快递 But sometimes, a slow delivery beats the express.
这是我没有得到的最美妙的一个吻 'It was the most wonderful kiss I never had.'
我曾在世界之巅 'l was on top of the world.'
但问题是, 要想有一个美好的明天 'The only problem with having a bright tomorrow
你得先熬过夜晚 is you have to get through the night before.'
谁在那? Who's there?
喂 Hello.
谁在那? Who's there?
哦! Oh!
这不可能 (No, it can't be.)
我还醒着! I'm still awake!
阿多拉 Adora.
不要 No.
求你了 Please.
不要再来了 Not again.
为什么你要给我看这个?（信贷危机） Why are you showing me this?
不要! No!
啊! Argh!
救命! Help!
你到底想要我怎么样?! What do you want with me?!
好吧 Alright.
够了 Enough.
在这停下来 Finish it here.
这是我应得的 It is what I deserve.
哦! Oh!
Adora, 我很抱歉, 我太抱歉了 'Adora, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'
Lipwig先生 Mr Lipwig.
你在干什么?! What are you doing?!
营救你 Rescuing you.
这没有意义, 我无法逃避那... There's no point, I can't escape the...
我应该受死 I deserve to die.
我要保证你的安全 Your safety is my concern.
噢, 该死,上次你这么说的时候... Oh, hell. Last time you said that...
啊! Argh!
我并不是想要把你伤得那么严重, Lipwig先生 I didn't mean to hit you so hard, Mr Lipwig.
我倒是希望你把我了结了 I wish you'd finish me off.
任何人不应该想要终结自己的生命 No one should wish their life away.
我是个坏人, Pump先生 I'm a bad man, Mr Pump.
我做过一些可怕的事情 I've done terrible things.
所以你的处罚是恢复邮局 And your punishment is to rebuild the Post Office.
以此来赎罪 One balances out the other.
没有任何事情能弥补我所过的事 Nothing can balance out what I've done.
哦, Pump 19, 最近怎么样? Oh, Pump 19, how's it going?
喔, 你看上去像是见了鬼 Oh. You look like you've seen a ghost.
你怎么知道? How did you know?
那个答案是"是" The answer's yes.
两人晚餐? Dinner for two?
呃, 我... Er, I...
哦, 我明白了 Oh. I see.
我很愿意, Adora, 但是你真的应该离我远点 I'd love to, Adora. But you really have to stay away from me.
问题不是你, 是我 It's not you, it's me.
喔! 陈腔滥调, 好吧, 现在我真的感到被侮辱了 Oh! Cliches, as well, now I really am insulted.
相信我, 我们现在最好把我们之间的事都放下 Trust me, it's best we call the whole thing off.
不要抬举你自己了, 我还没决定我们之间有什么呢 Don't flatter yourself. I hadn't decided it was on.
好了, 我在这了,你到底想知道些什么? OK. I'm here. What exactly did you want to know?
你是否介意我们去其他地方谈谈? Would you mind if we talk somewhere else?
那是肮脏无耻卑鄙下流的 It was dirty, ruthless and back-stabbing,
但是新闻卖的不错 but it made great copy.
坏事传千里 Bad news always does.
当网络出现了财政危机的时候 When the clacks got into financial difficulty,
唯一能够帮助他们的人就是理查德.Gilt the only person who could help them was Reacher Gilt.
Dearheart家族是那么的绝望, 他们签了所有的字 The Dearhearts were so desperate, they'd have signed anything.
Gilt从他们的鼻子底下拿走了整个生意 Gilt took the entire business from under the family's nose.
技术上合法, 但是不道德 Technically legal, morally rotten.
但是没有Dearheart家族的话就不会有网络 But there'd be no clacks if it weren't for the Dearhearts.
他们也不会遇到麻烦 And they wouldn't have got into trouble
如果不是银行危机的话 if it weren't for the banking crisis.
银行应该可以承受一点点的假债券 Surely the banks could survive a few fake bonds.
你称这为一点点吗? You call that a few?
这不是我人生中的快乐大团圆 'It wasn't the happiest reunion in my life.'
我画了每一条线, 伪造了每一个签名在假债券上 'l had drawn every line, faked every signature on those bonds.'
现在我看到它们就觉得恶心 'Now I felt sick to look at them.'
去她那 Go to her.
我做不到 I can't.
向她道歉 Apologise to her.
那些邮件警告我离她远点 The letters have warned me to stay away.
邮件? 又是这些无稽之谈 The letters? Again with this nonsense.
如果我再接近Adora的话, 那些邮件会杀了我的 If I go near Adora again, the letters will kill me.
邮件不会杀戮 Letters do not kill.
我会向你证明 I will prove it to you.
你一定就是受害者了 You must be the victim.
你他妈的是谁? Who the hell are you?
Ridcully先生是Unseen大学的首席教授 Mr Ridcully is Archchancellor of the Unseen University.
他会给你邮件不想要杀了你的证据 He will give you proof the letters do not want to kill you.
他怎么才能做到? How is he going to do that?
这里有多少词语? How many words are here?
一百万? 两百万? A million, two million.
那么整幢楼呢? 一定有几十亿了 What about in the whole building? There must be billions.
只有一个专家教授会拿很明显的事情来证明他的智慧 Only an academic could state the obvious and pass it off as wisdom.
你会烧书吗? Lipwig? Are you the type to burn a book, Lipwig?
不会. 为什么? No. Why?
因为你就是不会去做这类事 Because you just don't do that sort of thing.
没错, 必须尊敬书本 Correct. Books must be treated with respect.
我们从骨子里这么认为, 因为词语拥有力量 We feel that in our bones, because words have power.
把足够的词语聚在一起, 你可以扭曲时空 Bring enough words together, you can bend space and time.
这就是那给了你幻觉的东西 That's what has been giving you hallucinations.
我最后一次说明, 那不是幻觉 For the last time, they weren't hallucinations.
他们的确想要杀了我 They did try to kill me.
更可怕的是, 那是我应得的 The terrible thing is, I deserve it.
读我的嘴唇 Read my lips.
词语不会杀戮 Words do not kill.
人会杀戮 People kill.
野兽会杀戮 Wild animals kill.
但是词语, 词语有的是另一种完全不同的力量 But words, words have a totally different power.
他们进入我们的眼睛和耳朵,然后使用它们的方式来进入我们的灵魂 They enter through our eyes and ears and work their way into our souls.
我认为这才是你的问题所在 I think this is where the real problem is.
你的灵魂 Your soul.
别把你自己的问题怪在邮件上 Don't blame the letters for your own problems.
现在你可以向Dearheart小姐道歉了 Now you can apologise to Miss Dearheart.
这远不是道歉能够弥补的 It is way beyond apology.
只有她才能决定 Only she can judge that.
跟她谈谈 Talk to her.
我不信任我的舌头 I don't trust my tongue.
当我说话的时候, 我撒谎 When I speak, I lie.
这就是它一直在做的事 It's the way it's always been.
那么不要说话 So don't speak.
给她写一封信 Write her a letter.
一份忏悔书 A written confession.
一个骗子做不到这点 A conman can't do that.
这有违我们的准则 It's against our code of practice.
但是对一个邮政局长来说还有更好的方式吗? But what better way for a postmaster?
这就是我为什么会坐在这 'Which is how I came to be sitting here,
吐露心声 pouring out my heart.'
我唯一能做的就是用深爱之吻封住它 'All I can do is seal this with the most loving kiss.'
然后期待 'And hope.'
我不太确信, Pump先生 I'm not convinced, Mr Pump.
我并不是靠说真话走到今天这步的 I didn't get where I am today by telling the truth.
而你现在究竟在哪? And where exactly are you?
一针见血 Point taken.
把它贴上邮票寄出去 Stamp it up and send it on its way.
不, 你必须亲手把它送出去 No. You must deliver this by hand.
如果我靠近Adora五十码, 我就是一个死人了 If I get within 50 yards of Adora, I'm a dead man.
我已经告诉Adora八点和你见面 I told Adora to meet you at 8 o'clock.
两人晚餐 Dinner for two.
你的意思是当她读这个的时候我必须在她的面前? You mean I have to be there when she reads this?
在城里最好的餐厅 At the best restaurant in town.
你怎么订到桌子的? 他们的预约已经排了几个月 How did you get a table? They're booked up for months.
我没有 I didn't.
这是一次让你的谎言有用的机会 This is one time your lying will be useful.
先生, 晚上好. 请问您所预定的名字? Good evening, sir. Reservation for?
你的意思是你还是不知道? You mean you still don't know?
在我来了这那么多次后 After all the times I've been here.
我只是照章办事但是, 呃... I'm acquainted with the regulars, but, er...
..我无法给你位置, 先生 ...I cannot place you, sir.
非常好 Very good.
我赞赏你的慎重 I appreciate your discretion.
不希望任何人知道我们在这 Wouldn't want everyone knowing we were here.
那么我是否应该在老位子等Gilt先生? So, shall I wait for Mr Gilt inside at the regular table?
你说的Gilt先生? Mr Gilt, you say? Mm-hm.
我恐怕... Gilt先生不会接受刁难的 I'm afraid that... Mr Gilt doesn't do problems.
但是... 相信你们所有人都还记得"Poisson Rouge" But... Surely you of all people remember the Poisson Rouge.
我不能说... 正是 I cannot say... Exactly.
Gilt先生曾经每星期都带城市守卫去那 Mr Gilt used to take the city's finest there every week
直到有一天, 同样的事情发生了 until one day, same thing happened.
再见（法语）, "Poisson Rouge" Au revoir, Poisson Rouge.
我在里面等着, 可以吗? I'll wait inside, shall I?
阿多拉 Adora.
你看上去... 我在这里只是因为Pump先生的请求 You look... I'm only here because Mr Pump begged.
那么开始点前餐吧 That and the stuffed liver.
说实话, 我无法考虑吃的... To be honest,I can't think about food...
直到你读了这个 until you've read this.
这是一个道歉吗? Is it an apology?
比...比那更糟 It... it's worse than that.
先读了它 Just read it.
那么然后, 也许, 我们可以冰释前嫌 And then, maybe, we can move on.
晚上好, 小邮差 Good evening, little postman.
你好?! Hello?!
我们打烊了 We are closed.
但是我们早上九点会开门 But we are open again at nine in the morning.
我们有一个去Pseudopolis的专列 We've got a special on mail to Pseudopolis. Ah!
为什么你不写一封信给你的老祖母? Why not write to your old granny?
我吃了我的祖母 I ate my granny.
哦 Oh.
那么我要死了 Then I'm dead.
呃, 也许我可以解释下最后那一部分 Erm. Perhaps I could paraphrase the last section.
你毁了我的家族 You ruined my family.
Adora, 我很抱歉, 我能说些什么? 我很抱歉, 我真的很抱歉 Adora, I'm sorry. What can I say? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
你是个大骗子 You're a liar and cheat.
那些日子已经离我远去了, 我发誓 Those days are behind me. I swear.
每个词都是真的, 我向你展露我的内心, 不再有欺骗 Every word is true, I've bared my soul to you. There are no lies left.
我亲爱的Moist,你占了个桌子, 多棒啊 My dear Moist. How good of you to bag a table.
你...和他? You... And him?
不 No.
总是在和Moist开玩笑? Always a joke with Moist, hmm?
你为什么不让他们把香槟单子拿过来呢? Why don't you ask them to bring the champagne list, huh?
我先去梳洗下 Just gotta freshen up.
你还会让我被羞辱几次? How many more times will you humiliate me?
我可以解释 I can explain.
在你脚里的 What is in your foot
是一根钢尖, 四英尺的鞋后跟 is a steel-tipped, four-inch stiletto heel.
世界上最危险的鞋 The most dangerous footwear in the world.
我知道你在想"她可以踩到地板上吗?" I know what you're thinking. "Could she push it through to the floor?"
不要! No!
告诉你, 我自己也不确定 To tell you the truth, I'm not sure about that myself,
不过, 我准备他妈的好好试试看 but I'm going to give it a damn good try.
邮局着火了! The Post Office is burning!
啊! Argh!
Pump先生 Mr Pump.
Stanley和Groat在哪? Where's Stanley and Groat?
我要保证你的安全 Your safety is my concern.
Groat先生 Mr Groat.
快叫消防队 Call the fire brigade.
啊! Argh!
那是Stanley, 你得去救他 It's Stanley. You've got to save Stanley.
Lipwig先生, 太危险了 Mr Lipwig, it's too dangerous.
史丹利! Stanley!
啊! Argh!
Lipwig会是第五个! And Lipwig make five!
我正在收集死掉的邮政局长 I'm collecting dead postmasters.
当然, 有趣的部分是把他们弄死! Of course, the fun part is making them dead!
你杀了他们? You killed them?
每一个人? All of them?
哦, 是的 Oh, yes.
我是个杀手! I am the killer!
这是邮局的终结! This is a Post Office closer!
你知道他们怎么说的吗 You know what they say.
听到蝙蝠怪的叫声... 就会死! Hear the cry of the banshee and die!
实际上... Actually...
...应该是蝙蝠怪叫, 有人会死 ...it's banshee cries, somebody dies.
今天, 那人是你! Today it's you.
我两个心脏都没中 Missed both my hearts.
我还真喜欢邮政局长 I do love postmasters.
杀死他们获利盛丰 Killing them is so lucrative.
给你钱的人是谁? Who's paying you?
并不是每个人都出得起 Not everyone can afford assassin of calibre.
我处理Reacher所有搞不定的事 I deal with all Reacher's loose ends.
Gilt.
那个Dearheart男孩叫得像只猪 The Dearheart boy screamed like a pig.
叫得像只猪! Screamed like a pig!
直到他掉到地上 Till he struck the ground.
是时候歇业了, 邮政局长 Time to shut up shop, Postmaster.
你要关掉的不是Reacher Gilt的邮局 This is not Reacher Gilt's Post Office to close.
它属于这个城市 It belongs to the city.
他怎敢到这来破坏它 How dare he come in here and destroy it.
哦, 算了吧! Oh, please!
我甚至不能在平静中死去? Can't I even die in peace?
我明白, 我不是天使, 但是他呢? I mean, I'm no angel, but him?
他是个魔鬼 He's a devil.
"发现火情,保持冷静" "Upon discovery of fire, remain calm."
"清澈并响亮地呼喊 '着火了'" "Shout 'fire' in a loud, clear voice."
着火了! Fire!
史丹利 Stanley.
"如果被困... "If trapped...
A, 等待援救 B, 等死" ...await A, rescue or B, death."
够直接的 Straightforward enough.
那么是A了 A it is, then.
快来 Come on.
我欠你的 I owe you.
消防队在哪? 我们没有保险 Where are the fire brigade? We have no insurance.
什么? What?
我很抱歉, 先生, 要么是消防险要么是食物 I'm sorry, sir, it was fire insurance or food.
那么水桶在哪? Where are the buckets then?
这远不是水桶能搞定的, Lipwig先生 This is beyond buckets, Mr Lipwig.
嗯! Hmm!
阿多拉 Adora.
愿意跳只舞吗? Care for a dance?
跳舞? 和你吗? A dance? With you?
一个自私的skuggem有着.. .的道德观 A self-centred skuggem with the moral fibre of a...
老鼠? 老鼠 A rat? A rat.
谢谢. 别客气 Thank you. My pleasure.
让我走! Let me go!
不, 直到我告诉你事情的真相 Not until I've told you what's really going on.
你摧毁了我的家族, 这就是真相 You destroyed my family, that's what's going on.
那只是个意外, 我可以解释正确 That was an accident. I can put it right.
你根本不知道"正确"这个词是什么意思 You don't know the meaning of the word "right".
那些死掉的邮政局长, Gilt杀了他们 Those dead postmasters, Gilt had them killed.
他也想杀了我 He tried to kill me, too.
谁会想到我会和Reacher Gilt有相同的想法? Who'd have thought I had something in common with Reacher Gilt?
Adora, 他谋杀了你的哥哥 Adora, he murdered your brother.
John系着安全绳, 但是他摔死了 John wore a safety line, but he fell to his death.
这不可能, 除非你雇佣了一个会飞的蝙蝠怪把他推下去 It doesn't make sense, unless you hire a flying banshee to push him.
而蝙蝠怪是Gilt的首选武器 And banshees are Gilt's weapon of choice.
你有证据吗? 当然 You've got proof? Of course.
好吧, 那只蝙蝠怪曾是我的证据, 他知道所有的事情 Well, the banshee was my proof. He knew everything.
除了, 他被火烧了, 多么方便啊! Except how to be fireproof. How convenient!
虽然如此, 我认为我能打败Reacher Gilt Even so, I think I can bring down Reacher Gilt.
就像平常那样, 只说不做 All talk and no action, as usual.
Adora, 你能不能就信我这一次? Adora, will you trust me just this once?
哦! Oh!
这回答了你的问题了吗? Does that answer your question?
对这幅照片有任何评论吗, Lipwig先生? Any comment to go with the picture, Mr Lipwig?
里彻 Reacher.
很精彩吧? Marvellous, isn't it?
有点... A bit...
..极端了吧? ...extreme?
关键是, Horsefry, 我们赢了 The point is, Horsefry, we've won.
我们赢了 We've won.
好吧, 我想这是对付那些存货的唯一办法吧 Well, I suppose that's one way to deal with the backlog.
你怎么还开玩笑? How can you joke?
这是我们的生活, 现在没了 That's our life. And it's gone.
有泪不轻弹, Groat先生 Be brave, Mr Groat.
我们的顾客在那边 There's our customers over there.
在用网络传信, 我们失去了他们 Sending clacks, we've lost them.
那么我们只需要把他们赢回来, 对吧? Then we'll just have to win them back again, won't we?
来吧, Groat先生 Come on, Mr Groat.
邮局照常... 营业 The Post Office is open... as usual.
我会说,比平常更开放些, A bit more open than usual, I would say.
1 2 3 4, 继续前进 Number four delivery, proceed.
1 2 3 4 Number four delivery.
斯坦! Stan!
阿吉! Aggy!
我们这些老邮差还剩下的不多了, Groat先生 Not many of us old postmen left now, Mr Groat.
我们会尽我们所能帮助邮局的 We help out the best we can in the post's hour of need.
看见了吗? See?
人们喜欢邮局 People love the Post Office.
那么... So...
组织好你的人 Get your men organised,
副局长 Groat Deputy Postmaster Groat.
我希望他们... I want them...
你说了副局长, 先生? 我说了 Did you say deputy postmaster, sir? I did.
然后, 更重要的是, 我希望你的人在街道上 And, what's more, I want your men out on the streets
递送今天的邮件. 是的, 先生 delivering the mail today. Yes, sir.
看来网络又崩溃了 Looks like the clacks is down again.
这真是我的幸运日 This really is my lucky day.
今日特价, 女士们先生们 Special today, ladies and gentlemen,
寄信去Pseudopolis减少到3便士 mail to Pseudopolis reduced to three pence.
只要三便士 Three pence only.
然后如果任何人已经有消息被堵塞在网络里了 And if anyone has a message already stuck in the clacks,
我们免费发送 we'll deliver it for free.
不管我多么用力地擦我的鞋 No matter how hard I scrape my shoe,
Lipwig仍旧挡住了它 Lipwig remains stuck to it.
这上面说他没有受伤 It says here he was unscathed.
这是不是意味着我们还要干一次? 不 Does this mean we have to try again? No.
他也许还活着, 但他已经是秋后的蚂蚱了 He may be alive, but he's yesterday's man.
我认识Lipwig, 他会重建的 Knowing Lipwig, he'll rebuild.
凭什么? With what?
那需要花一大笔钱 It'll cost a fortune.
而且... 邮局已经破产了 And the... Post Office is bankrupt.
虽然如此, 人们... Nevertheless, people...
..似乎钟爱邮局 ...seem to have a fondness for the post.
我的最新创意会改变这一切的 My latest innovation will change all that.
创新? Innovation?
几年前我们就已经关掉了研发部门了 We closed down research and development years ago.
这和研发没有关系, Horsefry This isn't about research, Horsefry.
而是用一些华而不实的东西来忽悠人 This is about dazzling the masses with a bauble.
我认为可靠的部分是... I believe the respectable term is...
..营销 ...marketing.
我们自豪地 We are proud
来引领一个新的时代 to usher in a new era.
移动时代 The mobile era.
信号塔像这个一样 A network of towers like this
将按需在蝶形世界移动 will move around Discworld as demand requires.
这看上去不太妙 This doesn't look good.
将来, 如果你无法到达一个信号塔 In future, if you can't get to a clacks tower,
信号塔将带到你的面前 the clacks tower will be brought to you.
全面覆盖整个碟盘 Full coverage for the entire Disc.
Gilt先生, 今天网信的提价 Mr Gilt, today's increase in the price of clacks messages
是今年的第五次了, 这简直是敲诈 is the fifth this year. Surely that is extortion.
这是未来的长距离通信 This is the future of long-distance communication,
而新技术不会便宜 and new technology is not cheap.
你真的会想要那个, 当你有这个的时候? Would you really have that when you can have this?
但是他破坏了邮局 But he had the Post Office destroyed.
我们没有证据, Pump先生 We have no proof, Mr Pump.
我们必须做些什么 We must do something.
跟我来 Follow me.
逮捕那些人! 凭什么? Arrest those men! For what?
破坏电信财产 Vandalising clacks property.
我想你会发现这里唯一的犯罪是非法入侵 I think you'll find the only offence here is trespass.
你的地图在邮局资产上游行 Your map was being paraded on Post Office property.
我会看到你在地狱里游行的, Lipwig I'll see you paraded through hell, Lipwig.
你要安排另一个刺客来暗杀我吗? Are you going to send another assassin to sort me out?
刺客? 我完全不知道你在说什么 Assassin? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Gryle先生和我有一段非常有趣地闲聊 Mr Gryle and I had a very interesting chat.
我非常清楚你做了些什么 I know exactly what you've been up to.
你的证据在哪? Where's your proof?
当时机来临 All in good time.
你真是个骗子 You're such a fraud.
你真是个杀人犯 And you're such a murderer.
这是诽谤 That is slander.
这是宣战 This is a declaration of war.
我能引用这句吗? Can I quote you on that?
如果你想引用, Cripslock小姐, 试试这句 If you want a quote, Miss Cripslock, try this.
无论是雨还是火都不能阻拦邮政 Neither rain nor fire can stop the post.
非常鼓舞人心 Very stirring.
但这句里没有"战争" But his quote had "war" in it.
说得好, 先生, 说得好. 你的确说出了些惊人之语 Fine talk, sir. Fine talk. You do give a good bite of sound.
如果你不介意我这么说, 这可没什么屁用 If you don't mind me saying, it's bugger all help.
我知道, 我知道 I know, I know.
他们凭借新的技术突破而来 They come through with a new technological breakthrough.
"一个当代的奇迹将会永远改变通信方式" "A modern miracle that will change communications for ever."
而我们甚至还没有一个屋顶 And we haven't even got a roof.
喔, 一场倾盆大雨,所有的这一切都会成为纸浆 Oh, one decent downpour and all this will be papier-mache.
大屋顶需要花大钱 Big roofs cost big money.
就是这个, Groat先生 That's it, Mr Groat.
下雨 Rain.
雨天 Rainy days.
人们之所以要把钱放在远离下雨天的地方 The problem with people who put money away for a rainy day
是因为他们从来不知道什么时候会下雨 is they never know when it's raining.
好吧, 我想是时候倒出来了 Well, I think it's about to pour.
刺激 Stress.
会对一个人产生一些有趣的效果 It does funny things to a man.
香肠吗? Sausage?
Leakall夫人的特别定制香肠 Mrs Leakall's Premium Reserve sausages.
一份特殊的祭品 A special offering.
因为我有一个特殊的祷告 Because I have a special prayer.
很好, 你的祭祀有了一个好的开始 Well, you're off to a good start.
告诉我, 你到底是如何把香肠弄到那上面去的? Tell me, how do you actually get the sausages up there?
油炸, 祭品香肠会上升到神圣鳄鱼Offler那 Frying. The gift of sausages ascends onto Offler, the sacred crocodile,
通过气味 by means of smell.
然后你... 吃掉香肠? And then you... eat the sausage?
一个通常的误解 A common misconception.
真正的香肠已经去了Offler那了 But the true sausagidity goes to Offler.
他吃... 香肠的本质 He eats the... essence of the sausages.
当我们牧师吃的时候, 只是世俗的躯壳 While we priests eat the earthly shell.
这可能就解释了为什么 That would explain why the smell of sausages
香肠闻上去比吃上去香 is always better than the actual taste, perhaps.
你应该成为一个神学家 You should have been a theologian.
那么, 你想通过Leakall夫人的特制品祈求些什么? So, what is your prayer to accompany Mrs Leakall's finest?
跟往常一样 Just the usual.
从天堂来的钱 Pennies from heaven.
15万$... 准确来说 $150,000... to be precise.
可能需要花费比几个香肠更多些,才能得到... 特定的东西 Might take more than a few sausages to get something that... specific.
但是... 让我们试试看吧 But... let's give it a shot.
邮件! Post!
干得好, Stanley, 让我们干吧 Good work, Stanley. That'll do it.
继续前进, Stanley, 继续前进 Forwards, Stanley, forwards.
邮件 Post.
来吧 Come on.
人人都喜欢收到信 Everyone loves getting a letter.
我想你最好远离Adora小姐 I think it's best you stay away from Miss Adora.
远离? Stay away?
我不能那么做, 她爱我 I can't do that, she loves me.
但是她刚想杀了你 But she just tried to kill you.
好吧, 人类的心是非常复杂的, Pump先生 Well, the human heart is a complex thing, Mr Pump.
爱和恨只是一呼一吸的区别 Love, hate, they're just a breath apart.
她还不知道, 但是她爱我 She doesn't know it yet, but she loves me.
Pump先生 Mr Pump.
这是你今天的第三次投递了 That's your third delivery today.
很多信件在大火中幸存下来了 Many letters survived the fire.
我们在日以继夜的投递它们 We are working round the clock to deliver them.
日以继夜? 不间断的 Round the clock? Without a break.
这说明了我们多么的信任Lipwig局长 That is how much we believe in Postmaster Lipwig.
但那是剥削 But that's exploitation.
魔像协会不能允许这么做 The Golem Trust can't allow it.
你误解了 You misunderstand.
我们是志愿的, 志愿的? We volunteered. Volunteered?
这是最糟糕的剥削方式 That is the worst form of exploitation.
郁闷 Rats.
你在干什么, Horsefry? What are you doing, Horsefry?
我的预算需要这个 I need it for my budget.
预算? Budget?
我需要知道我们有多少塔要建 I need to know how many towers we're going to build.
你知道我喜欢你的哪一点吗, Horsefry? Do you know what I really like about you, Horsefry?
你的天真 Your naivety.
抱歉, 我不太明白 Sorry, don't quite get you.
我们提高网络的费用来建一堆信号塔, 对吗? We put up the clacks charges to finance a fleet of towers, right?
但我们并不是真的要去建 But we don't actually build any.
那么增加的收入就会成为我们的利润 So the extra revenue becomes pure profit.
但是人们不会想去看到这些塔吗? But won't people want to see some towers?
好吧, 我们会不时地把那些漂亮的模型拿出来 Well, we'll wheel out that fancy model every now and then,
给那些白痴一些华而不实的东西去看 give the idiots some eye candy to gawp at.
同时, 移动网络计划在正式地规划中 Meanwhile, the mobile clacks project is officially in development.
可惜 Shame.
我以为这是个好主意 I thought it was a good idea.
Horsefry, Horsefry.
什么是生意经? 嗯... They aim of business is? Erm...
不需要提供一个好的服务, 而是提供... Not to provide a good service, but to provide the...
唯一的 ..唯一的服务 Only. ..only service.
他们看起来吃新塔那套, 先生 They seem very taken with the new-fangled towers, sir.
这是书上最老的花招了 It's the oldest trick in the book.
用漂亮的图片来忽悠人 Dazzle the punter with a pretty picture.
什么是忽悠? What's a punter?
他们还没有建移动塔, 对吧? They haven't even built the mobiles yet, have they?
全是承诺 It's all promise.
知道承诺会带来什么吗 Know what happens to promises.
人们还会回到我们这来吗? Will the people ever come back to us?
他们怎么能够抵抗 How would they be able to resist
当我们有了艺术级的邮局? When we have our new state-of-the-art Post Office?
我们这辈子别想了,你低估我了, Groat先生 Not in our lifetime. You underestimate me, Mr Groat.
我不想伤害你的感情 I don't want to hurt your feelings,
但是祈祷来钱让人有点绝望, 你不这么认为吗? but praying for money is a bit desperate, don't you think?
每个人都会有个神窍门是用...来做饵 There's a god out there for everyone. The trick is hooking up with -
Lipwig先生! Lipwig先生! Mr Lipwig! Mr Lipwig!
Lipwig先生! Mr Lipwig!
那光 The light.
那美妙的光 The wonderful light.
荣誉归于Offler Glory be to Offler.
神圣鳄鱼神 The sacred crocodile god.
哦! Oh!
他瞎了, 他瞎了 He's blind. He's blind.
Lipwig先生, 先生 Mr Lipwig, sir.
Lipwig先生! Lipwig先生! Mr Lipwig! Mr Lipwig!
一个白色原味, 一个薄皮Klatchian One regular white, one skinny Klatchian.
还有两个figgin, 多谢 And two figgins, please.
谁去叫医生来 Somebody call a doctor.
你完全看不见了吗? Can you see nothing at all?
你彻底瞎了吗? Are you totally blind?
只是在这个世界里瞎了, 我的朋友 Only blind to this world, my friend.
现在我可以感知到事物的本质 Now I perceive the inner truth.
是的 Yes.
Offler的天使们... The angels of Offler...
..在我耳边低语 ...whisper onto me.
一... 十... 还有... One... hundred... and...
..五万大洋 ...fifty thousand dollars.
埋在... 树林里 Buried... in a forest.
Offler.
我不值得 I am not worthy.
让天使们选一个神圣的目击者吧 Let the angels choose a holy witness.
我, 我! Me, me!
我会给你一个头版 I'll give you the front page.
你... You...
..被选上了 ...are chosen.
Offler说... 去希望之门 Offler says... to the hop gate.
并且带一把铲子 And bring a shovel.
神啊! Divine intervention.
给我指引吧! Show me the way!
那个祈祷者 The praying man.
就在这 It is here.
祈祷树下的祈祷者 The praying man under the praying tree.
我看像只大象 Looks like an elephant to me.
好吧, 既然你这么说了, 我的确看了一个祈祷者 Well, now you mention it, I can definitely see a praying man.
他能看到了 He can see.
怎么回事了? What's going on?
你被捕了, 这就是这么回事 You're under arrest, that's what's going on.
又见面了 Hello again.
Lipwig先生 Mr Lipwig.
我要求你站在一边 I demand you step aside.
你就不能等Lipwig先生回来再说吗? Can't you wait until Mr Lipwig returns?
Lipwig先生破坏了合约 Mr Lipwig is in breach of contract.
但是我们魔像对他感到很满意 But we golems are satisfied with him.
你们被他利用了 You've been manipulated by him.
不是利用 Not manipulated.
是信服 Persuaded.
现在你惹我生气了 Now you're making me angry.
Pump 19.
我会集合魔像的 I will assemble the golems.
Lipwig先生 Mr Lipwig.
你过了最刺激的一天, 不是吗? You've had a most strenuous day, have you not?
比不上死亡判决刺激 Can't be as strenuous as signing death warrants.
玩笑 Joke.
喔, 我很抱歉, 我没有意识到 Oh, I'm sorry, I hadn't realised.
记得告诉我, 如果你想再说另一个 Do tell me if you feel obliged to make another.
说实话, 我对今天发生的事情有点模糊 To be honest, today has all been a bit of a blur.
15万$埋在树林里 There's $150,000 buried in the forest.
而你完全不知道怎么会在那的 And you have no idea how it got there.
这是奇迹 It's miraculous.
一个不可思议的巧合,这笔钱正是 A remarkable coincidence that it is precisely the sum of money
一个声名狼藉的骗子藏起来的总数 that was hidden by a notorious conman.
骗子? Conman?
那么他是谁? 我吊死了他, 他死了 Who was that then? We hanged him. He's dead.
是他不? Isn't he?
是的, 他死了 Yes. He's dead.
棒极了 Excellent.
那么, 既然这笔钱是神的礼物 So, as this money is a gift from the gods,
那么就应该用在公共事业, 对吧? it should be used for the public good, should it not?
那对眼睛, Lipwig先生 The eyes, Mr Lipwig. Hmm?
你可以信任我 You can trust me.
喔, 那个 Oh, that.
用乌龟蛋壳做的 Made from turtle egg shells.
真是个天才,谢谢 Ingenious. Thank you.
我指任命你为邮政局长 I meant me for making you postmaster.
啊, 棒极了 Ah. Marvellous.
Lipwig先生 Mr Lipwig.
但是如果我要修复邮局, 我需要付钱给工人们 But if I'm to restore the Post Office, I have to pay the builders.
把帐单寄给Drumknott Send the bills to Drumknott.
你的任务是保证Reacher Gilt Your job is to make sure that Reacher Gilt
不能再把邮局给烧了 is in no position to burn the Post Office down again.
他是个杀人犯 He's a murderer.
一个指控, 你有有力证据吗? An accusation for which you have hard evidence?
毫无疑问,你的间谍可以找到一些证据 Your spies could find some evidence, no doubt.
间谍? Spies?
我的确知道有个人曾经在他们内部 I did hear there was a man on the inside.
但是他从他的位置上掉下去了 But he was dropped from his position.
坦白地说 Quite literally.
John Dearheart是你的间谍? John Dearheart was your spy?
他曾是个间谍 He was a spy.
但是他走的不是很远 But he didn't get very far.
如果他懂一些骗子的窍门的话 Perhaps if he'd possessed the agile mind of a conman,
他也许能成为一个更出色的间谍 he might have had more success as a spy.
你认为我是个可以被你随意玩弄的恶徒? You think I'm some thug piece to be moved around at your leisure?
正是. 不 Precisely. No.
我不会成为你的间谍 I won't be your spy.
可惜, Dearheart小姐会对你有好印象的 Shame. Miss Dearheart would have been impressed.
的确那是魔像的本质 Indeed it is the very essence of golem.
但是要适可而止 But enough is enough.
这个局长, Lipwig, 在剥削劳动者 This postmaster, this Lipwig, is an exploiter.
而魔像协会不能也不会允许 The Golem Trust can't allow it and won't allow it.
只是因为你们不需要休息时间 Just because you don't need a tea break
并不意味着你们不应该得到它 doesn't mean you're not entitled to one.
现在邮局更需要你们, 比起你们需要它 Right now the Post Office needs you more than you need it.
对于这种情况只有一种解决方式 There is only one course of action to take in those circumstances.
罢工, 狠狠的罢工 Strike and strike hard.
那么我们想要什么? So what do we want?
好吧 OK.
好吧, 让我们直接投票吧 OK, let's go straight to the vote.
所有那些想要立即罢工的 All those in favour of an immediate withdrawal of labour
举起你们的手 raise your hand.
好, 我明白了 Oh, I see.
我猜想你们都认为Lipwig的背后阳光灿烂 I suppose you all think the sun shines out of Lipwig's backside.
非常好 Very well.
但是当你们穿着一身破烂时,不要跑来找我， But don't come running to me when you're so worn out
而你们唯一能得到的只是一盆植物 that the only thing you're able to hold is a pot plant.
Adora.
Adora, 等等 Adora, wait.
你怎敢让策反我的魔像来对付我 How dare you turn my golems against me.
是你说他们无法被利用的 You're the one who said they can't be manipulated.
手册需要修改了 The brochure is being revised.
你知道你的哥哥曾是Vetinari领主的间谍吗? Did you know your brother was a spy for Lord Vetinari?
你真的会说任何东西来吸引我的注意 You really will say anything just to get my attention.
这是事实 It's the truth.
让我的哥哥安息吧,好吧, 那么这是我们应该做的 Let my brother rest in peace. Fine, then here's what we'll do.
我们会继续日以继夜内斗 We'll keep on fighting day and night.
我们都保证不会共享任何 We'll make sure we never share information
能够破坏网络的信息,那样Reacher Gilt一定会赢 that could damage the clacks. That way Reacher Gilt's sure to win.
你认为你是唯一能够打败Reacher Gilt的 You think you're the only one who can bring down Reacher Gilt.
骄傲的自大狂 The arrogance, the conceit.
我不需要你 I don't need you.
我会让你知道你有几斤份量的 I'll show you just how much I don't need you.
一个女人的圣战, 多么高尚啊 The one-woman crusade, how noble.
你会看到的, 全城都会看到的 You'll see. The whole city will see.
干得好, 伙计们 Good work, lads.
你准备好了吗, Groat先生? 还差一点, 先生 Are we ready, Mr Groat? Just a few more, sir.
打赌你很高兴发明了那些孔洞吧, 呃, Stanley? Bet you're glad you invented perforations, eh, Stanley?
奇怪的事情是, 有一些人寄信给他们自己 Strange thing is some people are sending letters to themselves.
什么? What?
一旦邮票完成了,整个邮寄过程会变得更真实 Once the stamp has been through the post it makes it more real.
你看, 人们在收集它们 You see, people are collecting them.
就像你和你的针啊? Just like you and your pins, eh?
针? Pins?
喔, 针啊 Oh, pins.
不, 针只不过非常尖的铁而已 No, pins are just pointy metal things.
准备好出发了, 先生 Ready to roll, sir.
所有城里的良民啊 All you good people of the city.
现在通过和Hobson马行的联合 Now run in conjunction with Hobson's Livery,
给了我很大的荣幸来指挥 it gives me great pleasure to crack the whip
去Sto Lat的一日特快 on the overnight express to Sto Lat.
我们的胜利到此为止了 So much for us having won.
诸神怎敢来对抗我 How dare the gods work against me.
我不记得我允许过他们 I don't remember giving them permission.
为什么我们不能专注于我们自己的生意? Why don't we just concentrate on our own business?
因为Lipwig抢走了我们的生意 Because Lipwig's taking our business.
看看他们 Look at them.
一幅概念图...他们就信了 One artist's impression... and they believe.
对了, 寄信是一回事 Of course, posting the letter is one thing.
确保它的抵达是另一回事 Making sure it arrives is another thing altogether.
喔, 又来了 Oh, here we go again.
怎么了? What's up?
卡住了 It's jammed.
也许是冻住了, 最好叫人来维修 Maybe it's iced up. Better call maintenance.
喔, 对,对, 好像我们有三天的时间可以浪费似的 Oh yeah, yeah. Like we got three days to waste.
神啊, 公主, 你得过来看看这个 Princess, you've got to come and see this.
我正看着呢 I'm looking right at it.
一个故障? A fault?
看来它正在整个系统内传播 It seems it's spreading right through the system,
这就是为什么我们现在需要把所有的东西都暂时关闭了 which is why we need to shut everything down now.
关闭整个网络吗? Shut down the entire clacks?
这是唯一的办法 It's the only way.
我有没有告诉你一个好消息, Pony先生? Did I tell you the good news, Mr Pony?
我准备提议给你加薪 I'm recommending you for a pay rise.
大幅度加薪 A substantial pay rise.
还有一份奖金 And I'm pushing for a bonus, too.
你真是非常慷慨, Gilt先生 That's very generous of you, Mr Gilt.
没有什么比得上你应得的, Po-先生 Nothing less than you deserve, Mr Po-
或者我应该叫你... Or may I call you...
...乔治 ...George.
问题是这样的, George, 我必须回答董事会 Problem is, George, I have to answer to the board.
他们会怎么说, 当我提出以下的提议 And what will they say when my very next sentence is,
"Pony先生想要关闭网络" "Mr Pony wants to shut down the clacks."
好吧, 你不必是个董事会成员 Well, you don't have to be a boardroom veteran
都会知道结果, 对吧? to work that one out, do you?
我希望你能得到那份奖金, George I want you to have that bonus, George.
我真的希望 I really do.
所以我只准备问你最后一次 So I'm going to ask you just one more time.
你真的完全肯定你不能修复这个技术故障 Are you absolutely sure you can't solve this technical hiccough
除非关闭整个系统吗? without having to shut down the whole system?
好吧, 也许我们可以从另一个角度来解决问题 Well, maybe we can come at it from a different angle.
太好了, George, 你已经说服我了 By damn it, George, you've talked me into it.
我会告诉董事会所有的事都在你的控制之中了 I'll tell the board you've got the whole thing under control.
你的技能和创造力会拯救我们的公司的 Your skill and ingenuity will be the saving of the company.
我没有任何的加薪预算, Reacher I hadn't budgeted for any pay rises, Reacher.
你不需要 You won't have to.
钱的诱惑更有效率比起... Money dangled is much more effective than...
..直接给钱 ...money given.
呃, 说起薪水 Er, talking of wages.
你最后到底给了蝙蝠怪多少钱? How much did you pay the banshee in the end?
这有什么关系? What does it matter?
我只是需要使我的账簿上一致 I just need to reconcile my ledger.
你的意思是你真的想要 You mean you actually intend
写下我付了一个刺客多少钱? to write down how much I paid an assassin?
我过去一直这么做 I've always done it in the past.
好吧,得保存记录, Reacher Well, got to keep records, Reacher.
无法掩盖你的足迹, 如果你不知道你把它们留在了哪 Can't cover your tracks if you don't know where you've left them.
这是唯一的账簿吗? And is that the only ledger?
不, 这些年来我已经保存了几打了 No, I've got dozens of them going back years.
哦 Oh.
我想看看它们, Horsefry I'd love to see them, Horsefry.
真的? Really?
真的 Yes.
它们都在我的办公室 They're in my office.
随时都能取阅 Come up any time.
现在, Crispin Now, Crispin.
我想看它们 I want to see them.
现在 Now.
你之前从来都对这不感兴趣 Never shown any interest before.
不 No.
好吧, 我非常有兴趣来... Well, I'm very interested in...
..清算账目 ...settling accounts.
谢谢 Thank you.
你在这 There you are.
原来这就是她的意思 So that's what she meant.
Lipwig先生, 先生 Mr Lipwig, sir.
喔, 悲剧啊 Oh, calamity.
邮车回来了, 先生 The mail coach is back, sir.
已经? Already?
但是没有信件,而且不像邮车了 But there's no mail. And not much coach.
多么有效率啊 So efficient.
谢谢 Thank you.
很高兴受到赏识 Nice to be appreciated.
你都做了些什么, Horsefry? What have you done, Horsefry?
呃... Er...
...我的工作 ...my job.
记录东西 Account for things.
去你的 Damn you.
记录这个 Account for this.
Reacher, 不要! 放开它 Reacher, no! Leave it.
你在做什么? 让我们远离监狱 What are you doing? Saving us from prison.
但是我们必须保存账簿 But we have to keep account.
你的工作是遮掩东西 Your job is to hide things,
而不是把它们给全世界都看到 not to declare them for the whole world to see.
求你了, Reacher! 这是我一生的工作 Please, Reacher! It is my life's work.
放开我, 这个傻胖子 Get off me, you fat fool.
看看你 Look at you.
失败的身材, 失败的语言, 失败的脑子 Loose flesh, loose tongue, loose brain.
所有地方都很失败 Just loose everything.
事实是, Horsefry The fact is, Horsefry,
你蠢地不该活着 you're too stupid to live.
找到故障了吗, Pony先生? Found the fault yet, Mr Pony?
我-我... I-I...
Horsefry先生突然病了 Mr Horsefry was taken ill.
在地毯上留下了一堆脏东西 It left a nasty stain on the carpet.
我送他回家了 I sent him home.
但是不能忍受那个气味 But can't stand the smell.
Pony先生,这个表情不像一个 Mr Pony, that's not the look of a man
即将大幅度加薪的人 who's in for a substantial pay rise.
好多了 Better.
Adora, 你的诡计太棒了 Adora, that's a really neat trick you pulled off.
我知道你会用我的方式来看问题的 I knew you'd see it my way.
我完全不知道你在说什么 I have no idea what you're talking about.
使信号塔冻住,干得漂亮 Freezing the towers. That was very slick.
问题是, 现在邮局也歇业了, 强盗们 The trouble is, right now the Post Office is down, too. Bandits.
哼, 你太粗心了 Hmm. How careless of you.
我们需要一个双重打击 We need a double whammy.
当你攻击他们的时候, 我们可以抢走他们的生意 As you hit the clacks, we can steal their business.
一个合击 A synchronised attack.
我不想和你合击 I wouldn't synchronise with you
即使你是碟盘上仅剩下的人 if you were the last person on the Disc.
请通过云端给我40 40 Passing Clouds, please.
你知道吗? You know what?
你是对的, 你不需要我 You're right. You don't need me.
你完全有能力可以自己一个人打败Reacher Gilt You're more than capable of bringing down Reacher Gilt on your own.
所有的事情都在你的掌控之中 You've got it all under control
所以我就离开,不再打扰你了 so I'll just walk away and leave you in peace.
你永远不会再见到我了 You won't ever hear from me again.
二... 难道你不想知道我是怎么做到的吗? Two... Don't you want to know how I did it?
去邮局的屋顶 Go out onto the Post Office roof.
让你自己更靠近些天堂 Get yourself a little bit closer to Heaven.
然后跪下来祈祷 Then get down on your knees and pray.
你知道怎么祈祷, 对吧? You know how to pray, don't you?
只要把你的双手合一然后期盼着 Just put your hands together and hope.
有人吗? Hello?
她说祈祷 She said pray.
希望你不要介意香肠那件事 Hope you don't mind about the sausage business.
不过, 诚实地来说 But, to be perfectly honest,
我认为那件事让我俩都很有面子 I think we both came out of it looking pretty good.
总之, 我在好奇, 如果... Anyway, I was wondering if...
是来催租的吗? Is this about the rent?
你们他妈的是谁? Who the hell are you?
我们付过钱给Groat先生了, 所以你应该去找他 We paid Mr Groat. So you'll have to take it up with him.
不要管Groat Forget Groat.
你们在我的屋顶上干什么? What are you doing on my roof?
我是Mad Al, 他是Sane Alex I'm Mad Al. He's Sane Alex.
那是Adrian And that's Adrian.
他说他没有疯, 但是不能证明, 不是吗? He says he's not mad but you can't prove it, can you?
我们是养鸽爱好者 We're pigeon fanciers.
那么你们的鸽子在哪? So where are the pigeons?
在外面飞 Out flying.
鸽子不会在晚上飞 Pigeons don't fly at night.
蝙蝠 Bats.
我们尝试培养归巢蝙蝠 We're trying to breed homing bats.
蝙蝠没有归巢本能 Bats don't have a homing instinct.
对 Yes.
悲剧,不是吗? Tragic, isn't it?
是的, 所以有些时候我晚上会到这来 Yeah, because sometimes I come up here at night
然后我就看到他们的空巢 and I just see their empty little perches.
我唯一能做的就是不要去哭 Is all I can do not to cry.
好吧, 我相信Vetinari领主会非常乐意听这些的 Well, I'm sure Lord Vetinari will be fascinated to hear all about it.
你知道吗, 我倒是挺喜欢看到你跪下的 You know, I quite enjoyed seeing you on your knees.
Adora.
实际上应该是冒烟GNU The Smoking GNU, actually.
你们真的可以堵塞整个网络系统通过一个鸽棚? You can really jam the whole clacks system from a pigeon loft?
嗯-嗯 Mm-hmm.
不错的花招 Nice trick.
花招? Trick?
这可是尖端黑客技术 This is cutting edge cracking.
经过两年的发展 Two years in development.
反复的测试 Iterative beta testing.
集所有的成果于此 Culminating in this.
开始吧, 孩子们 Away you go, boys.
从这发射... Firing out from here...
..到干线里 ...into the Grand Trunk.
然后.. Then...
堵塞 Jam.
但是在它堵塞前, 它已经把病毒发出去了 But before it jams, it's already passed the code on.
所以... So...
堵塞 Jam.
问题是从这个塔开始的 The problem started at this tower.
我认为是你们之一的人干的 And I think one of you has been meddling.
是他? 这是他的主意还是玩笑? Was it him? Was this his idea of a joke?
不, 先生, 他什么都没干 No, sir. He didn't do anything.
那么一定是你, 你幼稚的幽默感 Then it must have been you. You with a juvenile sense of humour.
退后, 我得把每个员工都推下去, 直到有人... Stay back. I'll have to drop every employee until someone -
我明白了, 我知道怎么回事了 I've got it. I know what's happened.
稍等一会儿, Pony先生,我只是在处理一些资产 One moment, Mr Pony. I'm just disposing of some assets.
嘿! 那是我的侄女 Hey! That's my niece.
喔, 知道这点很有用 Oh, that is useful to know.
那是一个奇怪的漏洞 It's a strange aperture.
它是从椭圆形轴承开始的 It's jumping off the elliptical bearing.
我能修复它 I can fix it.
如果你按Q然后按K If you hit Q and then K,
然后用共振频率把它送去Genua and the resonant frequency to sent it to Genua,
当压力大于我们的... when the pressure is higher than ours -
省略那些细节吧,你能否找出来它? Spare me the details. Can you trace it?
这个, 这里有多于10,000条的信息 Well, there's over 10,000 messages here.
我可能能找到它 I might be able to find it.
多谢 Thank you.
好了, 好了 There, there.
现在最好停下来 Better stop down now.
当太阳升起的时候, 他们能看到我们 When the sun comes up, they can see us. Shh.
看见了没? See?
我们能对网络做我的鞋跟对你的脚做的事 We can do to the clacks what my stiletto did to your foot.
这算个不赖的开端 It's not a bad start.
不赖? Not bad?
只要我们还在发病毒, Reacher Gilt就赚不到一分钱 As long as we're sending, Reacher Gilt doesn't earn a single dollar.
啊, 但是如果我们能合作 Ah, but if we worked together
当你刺他的脚的时候 while you're stabbing his foot,
我能掏空他的钱袋 I can be picking his pocket.
对于邮局最棒的一点就是 The great thing about the Post Office
我们不依靠复杂的机器 is we don't rely on complicated machines.
我们有手有脚 We have hands and feet.
还有... And...
...最强有力的一点 ...strong ones at that.
用力拉,Pump先生 Heave away, Mr Pump.
女士们先生们,别在网络内被困住了 Ladies, gentlemen, don't get caught in the clacks.
来邮局加入我们吧 Come join us at the Post Office.
我们会保证你们的邮件抵达的 We'll get your message delivered.
你们看, 网络系统使用的是尖端科技 You see, the clacks system works at the cutting edge of technology.
而在进步的白热阶段的时候有些东西是很复杂的 And in the white heat of progress there are sometimes complications.
但是我可以向你们保证现在问题都已经解决了 But I can assure you there are now all resolved.
一些人在说 Some people are saying -
而且我们会给那些丢失的信息退款 And we'll be providing refunds for any messages that have been lost.
你唯一需要做的只是填一下索赔表 All you have to do is fill in the claim form.
但是我要提醒你们的是, 不要做任何急躁的事 But I do urge your readers not to do anything as rash
像是写一封信然后通过邮局发送它 as writing a letter and sending it by post.
你不会是... Wouldn't you...
你们还不如把它撕碎了然后让风吹走呢 You might as well tear it up and scatter it to the four winds.
Gilt先生, 这封索赔表有50页长 Mr Gilt, this claim form is 50 pages long.
我们会提供一个帮助台的 A help desk will be provided.
但是, 请不要拘泥于小节 But, please, don't get bogged down in the details.
真正重要的是我们飞得比强盗高 What really matters is we fly high above the bandits.
我会以我的官帽来下注 I will wager my hat of office
网络会在今晚日落前就被堵塞的 that the clacks will have broken down by sunset tonight.
而当我们胜利的时候, 我会把他那顶可笑的官帽在这里烧掉的 And when we win, I'll burn his ludicrous hat of office in this.
现在是时候收回赌注了 Now to collect on that wager.
准备好刺下鞋跟了吗? Ready to stick the stiletto in?
那是我们的荣幸 The pleasure's all ours.
那么,这需要花多久? So, how long does it take?
现在第一个塔应该已经中招了 It should have got to the first tower already.
我必须说,这看上去明显没有效果 I must say, it's looking distinctly underwhelming.
我们已经发出去了 It's alright leaving us.
反复测试也不过如此啊 So much for iterative beta testing.
不要对我叫喊, 我没有叫喊 Don't shout at me. I'm not shouting.
我只是在平静地阐述,好吧,就是不要 I'm just calmly stating. Well, just don't.
他们有没有可能已经... Is it possible they could have...
..破解了我们的病毒? ...cracked our code?
正当我开始喜欢那顶帽子的时候 Just as I was beginning to like the hat.
不要抱怨了, Lipwig.我没有抱怨, 我只是... Stop whining, Lipwig. I'm not whining, I'm just -
我很想知道为什么GNU没有冒烟 I'd like to know why the GNU isn't smoking.
我确定你说过你以前碰到过更遭的情况 I'm sure you've talked your way out of worse situations before.
那是过去的Lipwig, 记得吗? 我现在已经是另一个人了 That was the old Lipwig, remember? I'm a changed man now.
Lipwig先生, 先生... 喔 Mr Lipwig, sir. Mr... oh.
Lipwig先生 Mr Lipwig, sir.
Groat先生 Mr Groat.
我猜想Gilt想要这顶帽子了 I imagine Gilt's demanding the hat.
你不会真的让他们把它拿走吧, 是吧? You're not gonna let them have it, are you?
我听到的那是什么? What's that I hear?
什么都没,Moist Von Lipwig无话可说了 Nothing. Moist Von Lipwig has nothing to say.
我们是不是完全失败了? Have we lost everything?
放松些, Groat先生 Relax, Mr Groat.
我还没完呢 I'm not done yet.
我唯一需要做的... All I have to do...
...是尝试做那无法做到的事 ...is attempt the impossible.
你们都能看到, 太阳已经落山了 As you can see, the sun has set
而网络系统还完美地运行中 and the clacks system is working perfectly.
现在还只剩下邮政局长来认输了 All that remains is for the Postmaster to admit defeat.
但是他在哪呢? But where is he?
另一个空洞的承诺 Another empty promise.
现在, 不要误解我 Now, don't get me wrong.
我的确喜欢那古雅的邮局 I have a fondness for the quaint old Post Office.
那是我们历史的一部分 It's part of our history.
但是, 说实话, 那才是它所属的地方 But, really, that is where it belongs.
有人在叫我? Did someone ask for me?
啊, 邮政局长 Ah, Postmaster.
正是时候 Just in time.
火已经不大了 The fire was getting low.
好吧... Well...
...如果你太害怕面对挑战 ...if you're too scared to rise to the challenge.
拿去吧 Have it.
挑战? Challenge?
一个通宵竞赛从这到Uberwald An overnight race from here to Uberwald.
网络VS邮局 The clacks versus the post.
那超过一千英里远了 That's over a thousand miles away.
1,700英里, 准确来说, Cripslock小姐 1,700 miles, to be precise, Miss Cripslock.
Gilt先生, 你是否接受挑战? Mr Gilt, do you accept the challenge?
接受? Accept?
网络怎么可能会输? How could the clacks possibly lose?
好吧, 你溅起了很大的水花 Well, you've made quite a splash.
就像是鱼说人的脚上绑着铅块 As the fish said to the man with the lead weight tied to his feet.
也许我遗漏了什么 Perhaps I'm missing something.
不, 我的领主, 这是一个全力以赴的竞赛 No, my lord, it's a straight race.
但是你不可能赢,我同意,这不会容易 But you can't possibly win. I agree, it won't be easy.
而我必须坚持比赛的公平 And I must insist that the race is run fairly
要有严格的规则 with strict rules.
我没有作弊的意图 I have no intention of cheating.
而且我也不要开小灶 And I ask for no favours.
我唯一需要的是, 当我赢了 All I ask is that when I win,
Reacher Gilt要交出整个网络系统 Reacher Gilt hands over the entire clacks network.
非常好 Very well.
但是我也有一个条件 But I have a condition of my own.
如果你输了, Lipwig先生, 你会上绞架 If you lose, Mr Lipwig, you hang.
真的? Really?
有点太严厉了吧 It seems a little harsh.
但是公平 But fair.
如果你输了, 你就没有用了 If you lose, you will have outlived your usefulness.
有其他想法了, 邮政局长? Having second thoughts, Postmaster?
让我们比赛吧 Let's race.
非常好, 先生 Very good, sir.
闷闷不乐的表情, 非常迷惑人 The worried look. Very convincing.
让他们看不出端倪 Throws them off the scent.
对 Yes.
但你怎么知道我不是真的在担心? But how do you know I'm not really worried?
因为你是能从神那得到钱的人, 先生 Because you're the man who got money out of the gods, sir.
啊, 是啊 Ah. Yeah.
假如我是通过诡计得到的? Supposing I did that with a trick?
绝妙的诡计, 先生, 绝妙 Damn good trick, sir, damn good.
一个能从神那骗到钱的人能做任何事, 先生 A man who can trick money out of the gods is capable of anything, sir.
Groat先生. 嗯? Mr Groat. Hmm?
如果我告诉你... What if I told you that, er...
一辆马车不可能到达Uberwald There's no way a coach can get to Uberwald
快过网络设备 faster than the clacks machines?
当然你得这么说, 先生 Of course you have to say that, sir.
因为隔墙有耳 Because the walls have ears, eh?
对整个世界保密 Mum's the word.
所有的? Everything?
所有的 Everything.
但这里是15年的成果啊 But there's 15 years of work here.
他已经成熟到对这不感兴趣了 He's grown out of pins.
先生, 针是终身的爱好 Sir, pins are for life.
它们刺着你 They stick with you.
他准备开始一个新的人生了, 对吧, Stanley? He's starting a new life. Isn't that right, Stanley?
那么,多少钱? So. How much?
Dave, 你是怎么认为邮票的? Dave, what do you think about stamps?
那么, 计划是什么? So... what's the plan?
你怎么可能会赢? How can you possibly win?
嗯? Hmm?
擦拭 Friction.
马车会变得非常闪耀, 它会在空气中滑过 The coach will be so shiny it'll glide through the air.
现在, 回到现实世界 Meanwhile back in the real world(!)
邮局是一个毫无希望的失败者 The Post Office is a hopeless underdog.
啊, 但是失败者总能找到某个软肋咬上一口 Ah, but the underdog can always find somewhere soft to bite.
现在不是开玩笑的时候了,我们不是在约会 This is no time for witty banter. We're not on a date.
你有计划吗? Do you have a plan?
你相信我吗? 不 Do you trust me? No.
你有计划吗? 当然 Do you have a plan? Of course.
我们有1赔50,1赔50, 先生 We got 50-1. 50-1, sir.
我希望你们没有做任何傻事 You haven't done anything silly, I hope.
不,不,不,我拿了我所有的积蓄, Stanley卖了他所有的针收集 No, no, no. I took all me savings,Stanley here sold his pin collection
然后我们全部用来买你会赢 and we put the whole lot on you to win the race.
全部? The whole lot?
嗯... Erm...
可能这并不是很明智 Perhaps that wasn't so wise.
1赔50 50-1.
但是我们不想要显得太贪婪 But we don't want to appear greedy.
是吧? Do we?
我的意思是, 我们要保持高昂的士气 I mean, we want to keep the moral high ground.
别管高昂的士气了,我们要发财了 Bugger the moral high ground. We'll be rich.
而这都要感谢你的万全之策, 先生 It's all thanks to your inspired plan, sir.
Groat先生,怎么? Mr Groat. What?
让我们去看看魔像们想不想加入,好主意,伙计 Let's go and see if the golems want to cash in. Good idea, lad.
哦, 我的天 Oh, my God.
根本没有万全之策 There is no inspired plan.
这里 There.
就在你的两眼之间 Right between your eyes.
下次我再看到你,这就是我会射击的地方 The next time I see you, that's where I'm aiming.
信息可以阻挡 Messages can be blocked.
我相信你应该发现了Lipwig的计划 I trust you have discovered Lipwig's plan.
我恐怕没有,先生 I'm afraid not, sir.
只有一个白痴会用马和车厢来挑战网络 Only a fool would challenge the clacks with a horse and cart.
他的袖子里一定有个诡计了 He must have a trick up his sleeve.
那么... Now...
...是什么呢? ...what is it?
我唯一能承诺你的,先生,是网络不会让你失望 All I can promise you,sir,is the clacks won't let you down.
我们已经从系统里清除了所有的信息了,运行着双倍带宽 We're clearing all messages off the system, running double bandwidth,
我用上了所有我最好的操作员 I'm putting all my best operators -
你只要记住,如果你使我看上去像个傻瓜 You just remember,if I'm made to look a fool,
你的漂亮小侄女会后悔那一天 your pretty little niece will rue the day
他的Pony叔叔给她找了个在电信的工作 her Uncle Pony got her a job at the clacks!
首席教授Ridcully,我的领主 Archchancellor Ridcully, my lord.
这最好很重要,我的实验正做了一半 This had better be important, I'm in the middle of an experiment.
毫无疑问,包含着刀叉 Involving a knife and fork,no doubt.
我不指望一个俗人 I wouldn't expect a layman
能理解大学生活的压力 to understand the pressures of university life.
这可能有点难以置信 Incredible though it may seem,
我们为你的一个魔法装置找到了实际用途 we have found a practical use for one of your magical devices.
真的? 我们谈论的那个东西是... Have you? The object in question is...
一个全能潜望镜, 我的领主 An Omniscope, my lord.
能让我们看到远处的东西,我猜想 Enabling us to see things at a distance, I believe.
全能潜望镜是一个非常复杂,非常不稳定的设备 The Omniscope is a highly complex, very unstable piece of equipment.
你的意思是, 那玩意不管用? You mean, it doesn't work?
好吧... Well...
相对而言,可以用 Relatively speaking, it works.
棒极了,请在明天黎明前组装并运行起来 Excellent, kindly have it up and running by dawn tomorrow.
现在,听着,魔法不是什么工人的工具 Now, listen,magic is not some workmen's tool
让你可以按钟头租用 that you can hire out by the hour.
这很好,因为我没准备要付钱 Just as well, because I wasn't intending to pay you.
有什么事吗? Can I help?
Pony先生 Mr Pony.
Adora小姐 Miss Adora.
你最近怎么样? How have you been?
很高兴在这么多年后见到你 It's nice to see you after all these years.
我很抱歉没来参加你父亲的葬礼 I'm sorry I never came to your father's funeral.
这不对 It didn't seem right.
所发生的事情不是你的错 What happened wasn't your fault.
你一定恨我, 因为我还留在电信 You must hate me for staying on at the clacks.
你只是在做你的工作, Pony先生 You're just doing your job, Mr Pony.
事实是, 现在网络的运行布满了鲜血 The truth is, clacks is run on blood now.
现在我没有一天不想 There's not a day goes by when I wouldn't like
把辞职信丢到Reacher Gilt的脸上 to throw my resignation in Reacher Gilt's face.
我58了 I'm 58.
有着关节炎, 一个生病的妻子和坏掉的后背 Twinges in my knuckles, a sick wife and a bad back.
你必须再三考虑,对吧,在那么做之前? You have to think twice, don't you, before such gestures?
我父亲过去一直说你是个好人 My father always said you were a good man.
和一个伟大的工程师 And a great engineer.
我相信他说的对 I'm sure he was right.
不 No.
你父亲才是个好工程师 Your father was a great engineer.
Gilt想把这些给烧了 Gilt tried to burn these.
我相信你知道要用这些做什么 I'm sure you'll know what to do with them.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
站在射击边线外 Stand by to repel borders.
Adora?
如果这是关于我之前说的什么... If this is about what I said earlier...
他们杀了他 They killed him.
他们杀了John然后把他的名字放在一个借方栏里 They killed John and they put his name in a debit column.
这些人, 他们... These people, they...
...他们杀了人却逃脱了然后每个人都故意朝另一边看 ...they get away with murder and everyone just looks the other way.
不, 不是每个人 No, not everyone.
只是因为你对了,并不意味着你能得寸进尺 Just because you were right, doesn't mean you have to gloat.
别管这个了 Forget gloating.
现在我真的有一个计划了 Now I really do have a plan.
走开! Go away!
你唯一做的就是说那些计划 All you do is talk of plans.
疯狂的, 不存在的计划 Crazy, non-existent plans.
你算什么男人? What sort of man are you?
Adora, 请听我说 Adora, just listen to me.
把弩给我 Give me the crossbow.
这些账目是所有的关键! Those ledgers are the key to everything!
请听我说完 Just hear me out.
如果你不喜欢我的计划, 尽管射吧 If you don't like the plan,be my guest. Shoot.
这最好是个好计划 This had better be good.
那么现在, 伙计们, 你们带着这些信 Now then, boys, you take the message
然后拼命地骑去Uberwald and ride hell-for-leather to Uberwald.
但是我们怎么才能在一夜间到达Uberwald, 先生? But how are we going to get to Uberwald overnight, sir?
你们不用, Groat先生 You're not, Mr Groat.
这是不是意味着你要被吊死了, Lipwig先生? Does that mean you're going to hang, Mr Lipwig?
不会, 如果我有其他手段,我有个计划, Stan Not if I can help it.I have a plan, Stan.
我需要你绕个小道 I need you to take a little detour.
我需要你去一个被抛弃的信号塔 There is a derelict clacks tower and I need you to deliver
送一些帆布, 绳子和索具 some canvas and ropes and rigging.
索具? 是不是和船有关, 先生? 但是我不能坐船 Rigging? Is this about boats, sir. Only I can't do boats.
我会晕船 I get very seasick.
不是船, Groat先生, 是帆 Not boats, Mr Groat. Sails.
我们要用帆把他们的信号挡住 We are going to block out their message with a sail.
挡住? 他们不会发现吗? Block it out? Won't they notice?
不会, 如果我们我用我们的信号覆盖它 Not if we put our own message in its place.
抱歉, 先生, 你能不能再解释一遍? Sorry, sir, could you run that by me again?
是啊, 我有一点跟不上... 在帆那段 Yeah. I got a bit lost at... sail.
大家好! Hello!
大家好, Ankh-Morpork! Hello, Ankh-Morpork!
欢迎来到大竞赛! Welcome to the great race!
很高兴见到你们所有人! Lovely to see you all!
大家好! Hello!
大家好 Hello.
不错的入场 Nice entrance.
也许能够弥补你耻辱的退场 It will make up for your ignominious exit.
你好, 先生 Hello, sir.
Ankh-Morpork的市民们 Citizens of Ankh-Morpork.
根据Vetinari领主第1500号条例 As per Lord Vetinari's directive number P1500 -
我们知道我们为什么在这 We know why we are here.
来见证一个大竞赛! To witness a great race!
邮政局长挑战电信 The Postmaster has challenged the clacks.
两条相同的信息必须发送到Uberwald Two identical messages must be delivered to Uberwald.
男巫的万能潜望镜将会向我们显示结果 The wizard's Omniscope will show us the finish line.
在黎明前准备好, Ridcully, 我可准备会赢 Get it ready by sunrise, Ridcully, which is when I expect to win.
为了显示公平的体育精神 And to show the spirit of fair play,
我们善意地同意让邮政局长选择信息 we have graciously allowed the Post Office to choose the message.
为了一个适当的信息我努力想了很久 I thought long and hard about an appropriate message.
然后, 我想起 And then, I remembered
收到一个包裹的心情是多么的好 how nice it is to receive a parcel.
那么, 为什么不是一本书呢? So, why not a book?
经授权的, Lord Vetinari领主的图解传记 The authorised, illustrated biography of Lord Vetinari.
你以为你自己很聪明, 这顶多为你争取到几小时 You think yourself so clever, it'll buy you a few hours at best.
我的信息依然会在黎明前抵达 Our message will still be there by dawn,
当你的木头马车被陷在 while your lumbering coach will get bogged down
一个什么偏僻的沼泽里 in some godforsaken marsh.
可能 Maybe.
可能不会 Maybe not.
我们准备好了,我的领主 Ready when you are, my lord.
开始传信! Get clacksing!
快点, 行动起来! Come on, move it!
如果我们赢了竞赛... If we win this race...
...你们可以放半天假! ...you can have a half-day holiday!
快点! Come on!
开始干起来 Get on with it.
你们花了点时间 You took a while.
我不得不停了一会儿,这些颠簸摇晃 I had to stop a couple of times, all that bumping and jolting,
我的膀胱不像以前那样管用了 my bladder's not what it used to be.
如果我们不把这个帆在他们开始传信前装配起来 If we don't get this sail rigged before they start sending,
我们就没用了,好吧, 是的 we're done for. Yeah, alright.
好了! OK!
准备好了? Ready?
吊上来, 伙计们 Hoist it up, lads.
尽快,好的! Quick as you can. Alright!
来吧, 让我们再快一点! Come on,let's get a wriggle on here!
你在哪? Where are ya?
这里, 看, 能不能用你的靴子顶一下这边? Here, look, stick your boot in there, will you?
还在这, Groat先生? Still here, Mr Groat?
我不是为送包裹制造的, 先生 I'm not built for parcel post, sir.
现在, 你知道该干些什么? 骑得像个种锤, 先生 Now, you know what to do? Ride like the clappers, sir.
好伙计,别为任何事情停下,邮件必须送达! Good man, stop for nothing. The mail must get through!
夜晚的幽暗也不能 No gloom of night.
嘿, Lipwig先生 Hey, Mr Lipwig.
正是, Stanley, 夜晚的幽暗也不能 Exactly, Stanley, no gloom of night.
我 我 我能否说,先生,即使我们输了,邮局倒闭了 C-C-Can I say, sir, even if we lose and the Post Office collapses,
所有的这一切都成为徒劳, 你被吊死 and all this was in vain - And you get hanged.
是的,先生,即使死了 Yes, sir, even dead,
你依然是我们拥有过的最好的局长 you are still the best Postmaster we have ever had.
这非常感人, Groat先生 That's very touching, Mr Groat.
但我还没死 But I'm not dead yet.
祝好运, 伙计们 Good luck, boys.
我们为什么还不发送?! Why aren't we sending?!
我要看那些灯光闪动! I want to see those lights flashing!
Pony先生在哪? Where's Mr Pony?
把Pony给我找来! Get me Pony!
这就是我喜欢Dearheart家的地方 That's what I love about the Dearhearts.
完美的队列 Perfect alignment.
任何从那里发出的信息会直接穿过我们 Any message coming out of there comes straight through us.
是时候制造一些干扰了 Time to create some interference.
好了,14! 第14号! OK, 14! Number 14!
14正常 14's good.
第15号? Number 15?
好吧, 15有点障碍! 卡住了! 卡住了! OK, there is a snag on 15! It's stuck! it's stuck!
锤子在哪? Where's the hammer?
我放在后面的工具箱里了 I put it back in the toolbox.
它不在这! 它在那! It's not here! It's in there!
在扳手格里! 是啊, 还是在工具箱里! In the spanner drawer! Yeah, it's still the toolbox!
但是谁会把锤子放进扳手格里? And who would look for a hammer in the spanner drawer?
男孩们! Boys!
我们没有这个时间了! We haven't got time for this!
井井有条才能各得其所, 有条不紊! A place for everything and everything in its place!
如果你再说一遍那个,我会另找一个地方放锤子的! If you say that one more time, I'll find another place for the hammer!
喔,看在神的份上,看! 他们在发送了! Oh, for God's sake, look! They're sending!
让我们动起来,快! Let's go, come on!
主干线现在发送信息了 Grand Trunk are sending the message.
赶紧的! Hurry up!
把它拉起来! Pull it up!
加油,伙计们,拉! 卡住了! Come on boys, pull! It's stuck!
拉! 继续拉! Pull it! Keep pulling!
它被什么卡住了! It's stuck on something!
如果你希望什么事情做得完美... If you want something done properly...
喔不, 拉起来了! Oh no, up we go!
奇怪,信号停止了 Strange. The signal's stopped.
不,这不可能,这是最优先的 No, it can't have, this is top priority.
发送! 发送! Send! Send!
看在神的份上,开始发送! For God's sake, start sending!
好了,他们又开始发送了 It's OK. They're sending again.
太好了! 太好了! 他们上钩了! Yes! Yes! They've taken the bait!
他们在发送了! They're passing it on!
Adora!
我为你而来! I'm coming for you!
使什么让你这么做的? What kept you?
Adora...
我这想这可能不是... I don't suppose...
...一个好时机问你一些事? ...now would be a good time to ask you something?
好吧,我很难跑开 Well, I can hardly walk away.
你愿意嫁给我吗? Will you marry me?
你忘记了... You are forgetting...
...我们还有一个比赛要赢 ...we still have a race to win.
这不算一个直接拒绝 That's not exactly a rejection.
不算 Not exactly.
抓紧! Hang on!
给我下来, Lipwig先生 Down you get, Mr Lipwig.
你被逮捕了,这次是为什么? You're under arrest. What for now?
跟上次一样,逃跑 Same as last time. Doing a runner.
但是,但是我回来了 But-but I've come back.
让我们保持这样 Let's keep it that way.
Vetinari领主的命令 Lord Vetinari's orders.
听着 Listen.
很高兴你回来了,先生,遗言和上次一样? Nice to have you with us again, sir.Same last words as before?
我倒是希望这次结果会不同 I'm rather hoping there'll be a different outcome this time.
把你的手拿开,让我们看一些魔法 Keep your hands off. Let's see some magic, please.
马上就会来了 It'll come in a moment.
请不要碰它 Please don't touch it.
有了 There we are.
我们需要读机纸带,首席教授 We need to read the ticker-tape, Archchancellor.
没人说过要特写镜头 Nobody said anything about a close-up.
你不能就移一下吗? Can't you just move it in?
就移一下? 这可是个高端魔法设备 Just move it in? This is a highly sophisticated magical apparatus.
有了 There we are.
我想我们有一个胜利者了,我的领主 I think we have a winner, my lord. Mm-hmm.
Uberwald接收站的信息如下 Uberwald receiving station, message as follows.
"Havelock Vetinari出生在一个富有的和有地位的家族" "Havelock Vetinari was born into a wealthy and influential family."
我们有结果了, 我的领主 There we have it, my lord.
信息已经抵达了,通过网络准时到达 The message has arrived, delivered on time by clacks technology.
电信赢了 The clacks has won.
别在意,先生,情况可能会更糟 Never mind, sir. It could be worse.
怎么更糟? How, exactly?
好吧,我们现在有不少观众,一群记者 Well, we've got a good crowd, lots of press.
他们甚至还答应让我写一篇"什么是绞刑?" They'd even promised me a review in "What Gallows?".
拉下那个拉杆,Mr Trooper先生,不,等等 Pull the lever, Mr Trooper. No, wait.
信息还没完呢 The message hasn't finished yet.
他们在浪费时间! They're playing for time!
我的领主,很明显比赛结束了,我要求我的奖品 My Lord, it's clear the race is over. I demand my prize.
我的遗言! My last words!
我还没说遗言 I haven't had my last words.
让他说 If he must.
这听上去可能有点奇怪 Strange as it may seem,
我现在站在死亡边缘上 as I stand here on the verge of oblivion
却感到如释重负 I have a great sense of relief.
我不再恐惧,因为诚实的来说,最糟糕的事已经发生了 I no longer fear the worst because, frankly,the worst has happened.
虽然,我可能并不一直是个模范市民 And although I may not have always been a model citizen,
但是最终, 我已明白了我犯下的过错 finally I've been made to see the error of my ways.
并不是通过酷刑 Not by the heavy hand of the law,
而是被...的温柔触摸 but by the gentle touch of...
好吧 ...well.
所有的温柔触摸 By the gentlest touch of all.
非常美妙,先生,准备好了 Very nice, sir. Stand by.
不,还有更多 No, there's more.
怎么没了? Where's it gone?
画面还是没有回来,再等一下 It's not coming back. Give it a moment.
不要吹它 Don't breathe on it.
不明白什么是爱的男人不算真的活过 The man who has never known love has never really lived.
结果了他 Get on with it.
但最糟的是逃避爱情的男人 But worst is the man who avoids love.
太对了,说得好,先生,现在... Too true. Well said, sir. Now...
因为逃避爱情和它的艰难困苦的男人 Because the man who runs from love and all its trials and tribulations,
只是在欺骗他自己对真正的...视而不见 that man is just conning himself, swindling himself out of true...
啊,有画面了 Ah. There we are.
幸福 ...happiness.
很抱歉打断,我的领主 Sorry to interrupt, my lord.
我希望有人能 I wish someone would.
我不确定这意味着什么, 但是我认为你应该听一听 I'm not quite sure what this means but I think you ought to hear it.
信息继续 Message continues.
"我们是死亡之声" "We are the voice of the dead."
"遇到我们的人都因为一个血腥的终结成了鬼魂" "The ghosts of those who met a bloody end."
够了,比赛结束了 That's enough. The race is finished.
"邮政局长Mutable, 从5楼推下去" "Postmaster Mutable pushed from the fifth floor."
"邮政局长Sideburn, 脖子扭断" "Postmaster Sideburn, his neck broken."
把它收起来! Pack it all away!
什么都不要碰 Touch nothing.
"John Dearheart, 从塔上摔死" "John Dearheart,flung to his death from a tower."
"还有Crispin Horsefry, 被Reacher Gilt敲死" "And Crispin Horsefry, clubbed to death by Reacher Gilt."
把它关掉! Turn it off!
"以下是事实和数据 "Here follow the facts and figures
欺诈,挪用,谋杀的证据" proving fraud,embezzlement and murder."
"Reacher Gilt所有的阴暗交易的记录" "The full record of the clandestine dealings of Reacher Gilt."
我的领主,他们在撒谎,撒谎 My Lord, they're lying. Lying.
他们是谁,你认为? Who are they, exactly?
他们只是在读你发送的东西 They're only reading what has been delivered by you.
这信息是从你的公司发出的 The message has originated from your own company
这使它成了一封供认书 which makes it a confession.
我什么都没供认! I confess nothing!
Lipwig!
我要保证您的安全, Lipwig先生 Your safety is my concern, Mr Lipwig.
我要保证您的安全 Your safety is my concern.
逮捕Reacher Gilt Arrest Reacher Gilt.
他似乎突然不见了,我的领主 He appears to have vanished, my lord.
找到他 Find him.
一个天才的计划, Lipwig先生 An ingenious plan, Mr Lipwig.
而且很有效率 And most effective.
这就是为什么我同意你们的请求 Which is why I have agreed to your request to hand over ownership
将网络的所有权还给Dearheart家族 of the clacks back to the Dearheart family.
只要在这签名 Just sign here.
还有这 And here.
无需谢我 No need to thank me.
然而,因为你们两人运营着 However, as the two of you now run all communications
所有进出这个城市的通信 in and out of this city,
如果我发现我的远距离thud比赛被中断 should I find that my long-range game of thud is interrupted
我会找你们之中的一个人来责备 I shall come looking for one of you to blame.
我好奇那个人将会是谁 I wonder which one it will be.
顺便说一句,你看上去很漂亮 By the way, you look great.
这个颜色很适合你 Colour really suits you.
谢谢 Thank you.
这个真有那么疼吗? Is that as sore as it looks?
喔,这不是我第一次被吊了 Oh, it's not the first time I've been hanged.
染上了个坏习惯 A bad habit to get into.
我和你商量下,如果你放弃吸烟的话我就放弃绞刑 I'll tell you what, I'll give up hanging if you give up smoking.
太晚了 Too late.
我已经戒了 I already quit.
你为我这么做的? You did that for me?
是什么让你这么认为的? Why on earth would you think that?
Adora...
...当我命悬一线在绞架上的时候说的那些话 ...those things I said on the gallows when I was staring death in the face
关于所有的温柔触摸的那些 about the gentlest touch of all.
你知道我说的每个词都是真心话吧? You do know I meant every word?
是的 Yes.
这真是不可思议, 一个人能喷出这些废话 It's amazing the rubbish some people spout
来保住他的小命 when they're trying to save their lives.
或是用来得到一个吻 Or trying to get a kiss.
当然,我们不能这么做 Of course, we can't do this.
为什么? 利益冲突 What now? Conflict of interest.
你是邮局, 我是电信 You're the Post Office, I'm the clacks.
我们是竞争对手 We're rivals.
这就产生一个非常有趣的公司合并可能 Which throws up some very interesting possibilities of a corporate merger,
你不这么认为吗? 也许 don't you think? Maybe.
好吧,我还真喜欢把我的手放在你的资产上 Well, I'd certainly like to get my hands on your assets.
把你的手放得离我的资产远远的 Keep your hands as far away from my assets as humanly possibly.
啊, Gilt先生 Ah, Mr Gilt.
我看到你醒了 I see you are awake.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
我的名字是Merryforth Truman而且... My name is Merryforth Truman and...
...我有文件证明 ...I've got papers to prove it.
它们的确是些令人惊奇的文件, Gilt先生 Some wonderful papers they are too, Mr Gilt.
但别说这些了 But enough of that.
我把你带这是因为我想和你谈谈天使 I've brought you here because I want to talk to you about angels.
进来 Come.
打扰了,我的领主,我有一封给Merryforth Truman的信 Excuse me, my lord. I've got a letter here for Merryforth Truman.
哎哟 Strewth.
他曾在这, 但是很遗憾他不相信天使 He was here, but sadly he didn't believe in angels.
哦 Oh.
好吧, 这倒是有点困难 Well, that's a bit of an embuggerance.
我们做到了, Groat先生, 家, 美妙的家 We did it, Mr Groat. Home sweet home.
Stanley, 这不是我们唯一赢的竞赛 Stanley, it's not only the race we won.
那个赌博, 我记得 The bet, remember.
1赔50, 哈哈, 我们发财了 50-1 . Blimey, we're rich.
那么让我把赌票拿出来 Let's have the betting slip, then.
我给你了啊, Groat先生 I gave it to you, Mr Groat. Hey?
哦,对,我放在个什么地方了 Oh, yes. I've got it here somewhere.
你可能不能丢了它啊, Groat先生,1赔50啊 You can't have lost it, Mr Groat. 50-1.
1赔50啊,当然没 50-1.No, of course.
我想起来了, 我放在一个安全的地方了 I remember now. I've put it somewhere safe.
我,嗯... I, erm...
...我把它藏在床垫下了 ...l hid it under the mattress.
哪个床垫? Which mattress?
旅馆里的那个 The one in that tavern.
哪个旅馆, Groat先生? Which tavern, Mr Groat?
你知道的, 那个... You remember, that...
...在Uberwald的那家,喔! ...that nice one in Uberwald. Oh!
Uberwald...Groat先生, Groat先生! Uberwald... Mr Groat, Mr Groat!
快上车, Groat先生! Get in the carriage, Mr Groat!
片名: 《开始邮政》
给钱或死
魔像协会
夜晚的幽暗也不能使这些邮差放弃他们的使命
先生, 我求你了, 再给我一次机会吧 我怎么会知道债券是伪造的!
把他送去监狱!
请仁慈些吧,我的家人会饿死
假债券危机
偿还所有债务!
Dearheart家族失去网络! 家族破产! (紧缩 - 有信誉)
Dearheart死了! 是自杀的吗?
(后面还有) by fhrp